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By: CPFace

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Episode 5

(We're in the office with Mike the TV.)

Mike: Last time on The Adventures of Boot, all our heroes were sucked into the Web by a disturbingly familiar plot device, leaving behind nothing but a jar of peanut butter and this montage of clips from the previous episode. Let's watch.

Megabyte: Well, it's the fourth episode. Guess I should really get started on my plan to. . . (sudden close-up) reclaim what's mine! (sting music)

(Timmy growls approvingly.)

Hack: Well, I guess that's the boss, deciding to reclaim us.

Slash: Certainly is.

Hack: (glancing over at the other side of the room.) And yet, there stands the door, completely in our way.

Slash: Too true.

Matrix: What's that Timmy? Trouble by the old mill? Lassie fell into the abandoned mine shaft?

Dot: Oh, I told her not to play there!

Megabyte: It's phase two of my diabolical plan to. . . (sudden close-up) reclaim what's mine! (sting music) (normal view) It's an emulator which will allow the User to play pirated Games. We'll all hide inside and wait for the User to download it into Mainframe. Bob and his friends will enter the Game to beat the User. While you three keep them busy, I'll engage a bug to trap them within the Game, and when the Game is over, it will return to the Web and abandon them there! With Mainframe's heroes out of the way, I'll be free to. . . (sudden close-up) reclaim what's mine! (sting music) (normal view)

Hack: I was with you all the way up to "diabolical".

Bob: Let's see. . . we're in the third level of the Game, and the User's only on the first. The objective is to defeat the twelve monster trainers before the User.

(There's a chorus of "Reboot"s and everyone turns into cute little animals.)

Bob: (confused, cute) Pika?

(A puff of smoke. Hack appears.)

Hack: To protect the world from getting all messed up!

(Another puff of smoke. Slash appears, holding a rose.)

Slash: To put all people in the same country!

(A giant portal to the Web tears the sky wide open and the Game goes through as it withdraws. Pan back to reveal that we were looking on at a vidwindow with Phong.)

Phong: That's the third time this episode that an unnessecarily large portal to the Web tore the sky open. I'd better tell Bob.

(Cut to the sector where the Game was. A vidwindow with Phong on it pings into existance.)

Phong: Bob, there's been. . . (seeing no one's here) Bob? Dot? Matrix? AndrAIa?

(Silence.)

Phong: Oh pooh.

(We're back in the office and the montage is done now.)

Mike: And now, tonight's episode.

(We're somewhere in the Web. Bob, Dot, Matrix, AndrAIa, and Enzo are standing on a little floating island with a Bus Stop sign. A flying bus with route number IE40 pulls up next to them and they enter.)

Corrupted Sprite Driver: Where you headed?

Bob: Five for www.mainframe.ca please.

(The driver glances over at a sign with the faces of our heroes and a note that reads, "Do not give these sprites passage -- The Management")

Corrupted Sprite Driver: Sorry pal. You've been locked out.

(The bus drives off.)

AndrAIa: Megabyte must have blocked all transportation for us.

Matrix: Great! So we're stuck here to degrade to our deletion! That sounds like fun!

Dot: C'mon, Enzo, that's not really called for. . .

Matrix: Sorry, it just makes me mad, that's all. . . First I get that gum stuck in my hair and now this and I dunno. . .

Bob: Okay, let's call Phong. That sounds like something to do.

(Bob opens a window with Phong on it.)

Phong: Principle Office?

Bob: Phong, it's me, Bob. Listen, we're trapped in the Web. Can you send us any kind of help?

Phong: Patience, my son. Help is on the way.

Bob: Hey, that was pretty easy.

(A second vidwindow with Phong on it opens up next to the first one.)

Phong: Hello, Bob?

Bob: Uh. . . yeah Phong?

Phong: We need your help right away. Bob and his friends have been trapped in the Web. You need to find them and rescue them.

Bob: . . . Phong? I'm in the Web.

Phong: Oh, how fortunate. Well, on your way back, could you pick up Bob and his friends?

Bob: (dismally) Sure. I'll remember to do that.

(The second window closes.)

Phong: Bob should be there to rescue you soon.

Bob: Yeah, thanks. (closes the window) Well, it seems we're lost in the Web and at the mercy of Megabyte and his army.

Enzo: (muttering) Great. So we just sort of took the two subplots from Season 3 and mashed them together, huh?

Bob: Yep.

Matrix: Ooooohh. . . Didn't we just get done exploring the Web and all that? How are we going to add anything new or exciting to this whole Web exploring shtick?

Bob: With this!

(Bob dramatically produces a book with the words "Don't Worry" printed on it in large, reassuring letters. Brief fanfare.)

Dot: Huh. "Don't Worry." That's the first sensible thing I've read all second.

AndrAIa: Uh, what is that, exactly?

Bob: It's a guide book to the Web. It helped me survive the first time I was stranded here.

AndrAIa: And. . . where did you say you got it?

Bob: No more questions from this point on.

(Cut with a loving flourish to an establishing shot of the Tor. Dissolve inside. Megabyte is standing near a large wooden crate which Hack and Slash are standing in.)

Hack: Hey boss?

Slash: What's with the crate?

Hack: I mean, it's nice and all. . .

Slash: Very cozy.

Hack: . . . But we just don't get it.

Slash: How does this help you with phase three of your plan to. . .

(Dramatic close-up of Hack and Slash.)

Both: Reclaim what's yours! (sting music)

(Normal view.)

Megabyte: (hurt) Stop stealing my shtick. C'mon, into the box with you.

Hack: But why?

Slash: My leg's cramped.

Hack: You don't have legs.

Slash: Well, that thing is cramped.

Megabyte: Right, right. . . now close your mouths, here come the styrofoam peanuts.

Hack: But we don't have --

(Something dumps styrofoam peanuts into the box, completely burying the robots. Megabyte slaps a lid on and quickly nails it shut.)

Slash: My eyes! I can't see my eyes!

Megabyte: (going through some papers) There, that's all the original packaging, warranty, proof of purchase, blood sample. . . time to return you to your manufacturer!

(Megabyte attaches the papers to the box and Timmy promptly arrives and carries it away. Megabyte rubs his hands together vigorously.)

Megabyte: Now, on to phase four!

(He turns to face the array of two thousand heavily-armed ugly-looking yellow flying craft that he's assembled.)

Megabyte: I love phase four.

(We're back with Bob and friends on the island in the Web. Everyone is carrying umbrellas.)

Matrix: So. . . what are these for again?

Bob: Hey, an umbrella is about the most useful thing you can have when you're exploring the Web. You can use it as a parachute to ride the data streams from page to page. You can prop it up as a tent to sleep under at night. You can use it as a shield to protect yourself from the acidic saliva of the Unglukian Mnugle beast. You can close it and use it as a sword in close quarters. You can invert it and use it as a boat to cross the deadly energy oceans. And, if there aren't too many holes in it, you can use it to keep the rain from falling on your head.

Dot: So what's the plan?

Bob: We've got to find the one place in the Web that Megabyte hasn't taken over.

AndrAIa: (shocked) You mean. . .?

Bob: (nodding grimly) Foxfire Studios. It's the only place we can be guaranteed safety. From there. . . well. . . we'll just have to hope that they'll help us reach Mainframe.

Enzo: How do we find it?

Bob: Hmmm. . . it's too far away; we'll degrade before we reach it. Or, well, you will, I suppose. Hey, I've got super powers now! That's neat!

(Dot clears her throat pointedly.)

Bob: Right, right. . . so we head for Yahoo. With any luck, we'll be able to find a port to Foxfire Studios before Megabyte's forces can stop us. And that's all the exposition.

AndrAIa: Thanks for waiting so patiently, gentle reader.

Dot: We promise there will actually be things happening in the next episode.

Matrix: Right! Let's do it!

(Everyone opens their brollies and drifts away with a passing data stream, accompanied by an appropriate tune from Mary Poppins.)

(Cut to an aerial shot of Mainframe. The sky is split wide open by a Web portal, and Megabyte's yellow ships file into the system, surrounding everything. A giant vidwindow of Megabyte looks down upon them all.)

Megabyte: Citizens of Mainframe!

(Cut to Dot's Diner, where several restaurant patrons are watching the same broadcast on a smaller vidwindow.)

Megabyte: I believe you have something of mine.

(Cut to Kits, where some joggers have stopped to watch on a nearby window.)

Megabyte: Something very dear to me.

(Cut to the Principle Office, where Phong is watching the same thing on a small window.)

Megabyte: I have come. . . to reclaim it.

(Megabyte chuckles a bit. Fade to black.)

(Very suddenly, we're in the Principle Office, where Phong and some of the PO staff is sitting around with some coffee.)

Binome: Wow! I thought for sure that we were goners back there.

Other Binome: I wish all of those invasions would go that well.

Phong: I can't believe Megabyte went to all that trouble for one file.

Yet Another Binome: Well, he's gone now; that's good enough for me.

Phong: Yes. . . but for how long?

(Paranoia sets in. Phong grabs a jelly donut.)

(An establishing shot of the Tor. Megabyte chuckles in the background. We fade in to one of the corridors of the Tor, and the chuckling grows louder. The camera makes its way down the hall further. . . further. . . the laughter echoes maniacally. . . further. . . we round a corner and end up in Megabyte's throne room, where he's seated. A null is crawling around on his neck. He's laughing hysterically.)

Megabyte: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, that tickles! Hee hee hee hee hee hee! Come here, you little rascal.

(Megabyte grabs the null and gives it a bunch of little kisses.)

Megabyte: Oh Nibbles. . . I'm never leaving you behind ever again. . .

(Megabyte gently scratches Nibbles somewhere and he sighs contentedly.)

Megabyte: Hey, I've got Ray all tied down for you; let's go suck on him a while, okay?

(An appropriately sappy Randy Newman song plays in the background as the credits roll.)

All characters in this story are the property of Mainframe Inc., and are used without permission. I didn't receive any money for creating this story, and I am not affiliated with Mainframe Inc.

(The credits scroll away and Randy Newman stops singing, but the song continues in the background.)

(The Malicious Corpses User stands in a spot in the Game. He fires off a shot, grabs the rope for his chainsaw in his mouth, and gives it a pull. It coughs a bit and sputters out.)

User: Hold on a sec. . .

(Young Enzo and AndrAIa are in the desert as a grizzled old binome approaches.)

AndrAIa: Better get into character, Guardian.

Enzo: (clearing his throat) We --

Binome: You're that young Guardian, ain't ya?

(Uncomfortable silence.)

Enzo: Umm, yeah.

(Another silence.)

Enzo: (prompting) Them posters was right.

Binome: Yeah, they sure were.

(The binome turns around to return to his mark. AndrAIa starts giggling.)

(AndrAIa is in the PO.)

AndrAIa: Megabyte could have deleted us, but he didn't! This is worse! I now understand what prope. . . porpo. . .progo. . . prono. . popro. . .propro. . . Bleah. . .

(Phong and Dot are in the PO.)

Dot: (sad) Phong, we won today. We beat them back. We protected the city. I should be happy, but all I feel is empty.

Phong: (at the same time) My child, you mourn --

Dot: (at the same time) It's like part of --

Phong: (startled) Oh, I'm sorry, after you.

(Dot laughs. Phong looks at the camera and waves.)

(Cyrus is running down a corridor toward the camera. He tries skidding to a stop, but his momentum carries him and he falls over.)

(The Malicious Corpses User tugs on the chainsaw repeatedly.)

User: I think it might be flooded or something. . .

(Shot of a grate. Knocking.)

Hexadecimal: (offscreen) Come in.

(Screws fall out. There's a banging from the other side. A binome crew member comes out and tries opening it, unsuccessfully. He tugs harder, still to no avail.)

(A red binome steps forward with a sledge hammer in his hands.)

Hardboot: Hardboot.

(He swings the hammer to his shoulder, hitting Gabby behind him, who falls over.)

Hardboot: (looking) Uh oh.

(Matrix, booted into a barbarian, picks up Backup and holds his face up to his own, looking rather displeased. Suddenly Backup bursts out laughing. Matrix rolls his eyes and drops him.)

(AndrAIa, Matrix, and Frisket stand in the Hero control room.)

AndrAIa: Enzo, look, I admit there's a resemblance, but --

(There's a farting noise.)

Matrix: (scolding) Frisket!

(Frisket whines apologetically. AndrAIa doubles over laughing.)

(Bob and Megabyte stand in a face-off.)

Bob: Glitch! Particle beam!

(Megabyte struggles against the blast some distance away from where it stops.)

Director: (off camera) Megabyte, you're off your mark.

(Bob and Megabyte look up. The special effect remains in place.)

Megabyte: (looking down) Oh. That's just some gum.

(A dark room. Hack and Slash rise out of pits in the floor.)

Hack and Slash: (singing) Dem bones dem bones dem. . . dry bones. . . dem bones --

(A horrible hissing, and they stop rising, about halfway up.)

Hack: What'd I do?

Slash: Mine's broken.

Hack: Did I do something?

(The Malicious Corpses User pulls on the chainsaw some more. Suddenly, he spits the handle out and grabs his mouth.)

User: AAA! I think I chipped something!

(Matrix walks up to a bar.)

Matrix: I/O shot, please.

(The frightened bartender brings the bottle up too fast. The bottom gets caught on the edge and as he brings it forward, it spills everywhere.)

Bartender: Ooo, sorry. . .

Matrix: (examining a stain on his costume) Wardrobe!

(Ray stands on his board in the prison.)

Ray: If you want my advice, edge straight for the Head of Beyond. They'll --

(He realizes what he said and starts laughing.)

Ray: Hold on a nano, I'll get it. . . (hitting himself in the head) Wake up, Ray. . .

(Ray stands on the Saucy Mare. Matrix steps forward to stand face to face with him.)

Matrix: (threatening) Maybe I didn't --

Ray: (looking down) Ow!

Matrix: (looking down, backing off) Oh, sorry. . . Didn't mean to step on you.

Ray: It's all right. There's five more on the other foot.

(Ray walks across the deck of the Saucy Mare.)

Ray: This is my digital domain. If you want to --

(He trips and disappears from view.)

Ray: (off screen) Never mind.

(Bob, wearing his Web-proof coat, turns to face the camera.)

Bob: You just can't --

(A boom mike swings down in front of his face.)

Bob: -- Ooooo-kay. (turns around again.)

(Ray holds a wiggly thing over his face. It squirms a little too much and wiggles out of his grip, landing in his lap. He panicks, standing up and moving away from the table.)

(Hex, with a demonic mask, hovers before the firewall, grabbing at her collar. She gives it a few tugs, to no avail.)

Hex: Oh pooh.

(Megabyte turns to face the camera, moving closer.)

Megabyte: And you're going to give me the code, aren't --

(He hits his nose on the camera, which shakes a little.)

Megabyte: Whoops.

(Near the broken-down Principle Office, Megabyte is getting to his feet.)

Megabyte: No, you remember, boy. . . how I turned victory into defeat. . . how I. . .

(Megabyte pauses, and slaps himself in the forehead.)

(In the PO, with emergency lights and sounds. Mike the TV runs in and comes skidding to a stop.)

Mike: Hey --

(Unfortunately, he can't stop his momentum and he falls down.)

(The system's crashing around Mouse and Ray. Suddenly, Mouse pulls Ray down for a long kiss, and drops him. She looks up at the camera and shrugs.)

(There's a black screen with a flashing green cursor. There's a sound like typing, and letters appear on the screen.)

YWES

(Someone laughs. There's the sound of a key being repeatedly hit as the word is backspaced away.)

(The Malicious Corpses User, obviously tired, pulls on the chainsaw again and again. On the third try, he's quite surprised when it comes to life with a satisfying growl.)

User: (holding up the roaring chainsaw) Groovy!

(Applause from the crew. Feathers McGraw walks up with a clapboard and claps it in front of the camera.)

(Randy Newman starts singing again as the credits resume.)

Outtakes based on Season 3 of ReBoot. They're made up, of course.

This story is Copyright © 1999 CPFace. Having said that, you're free to reproduce it by any means you see fit, but you're not allowed to make money off of it. As if you could.

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