
By Dan Green
Chapter 3 - Into Thin Air
Matrix
knew it had been just a cycle since they’d arrived on Muir – hit internal
clock told him so. But that
indisputable fact aside, it seemed like it had been much, much longer. It wasn’t that the big sprite wasn’t enjoying himself –
it was liberating to be out traveling again, with the important difference that
he wasn’t lost in the net this time. Muir
was a profoundly pleasant place – green and mild and visually stunning.
He was even enjoying his brother’s company – Enzo’s exuberance
could be a bit much at times, but the long, reflective silences on the trail –
punctuated by frank, open conversation – were easy and relaxed between them.
He’d even enjoyed the skinny-dipping, on reflection.
No,
what made the brief passage of time so remarkable was simple – it was
extraordinary that his perception of the boy could change so much in so little
time. It wasn’t that he didn’t
know his brother was growing up – of course he knew it, and Enzo’s prolonged
absences at the Academy made his incremental gains in height and bulk that much
more obvious when Matrix did see him. But
he’d still just been Little Enzo – the annoying, exhausting, endearing and
innocent shadow of his past.
But
no more – the last cycle had profoundly changed the way Matrix thought about
his brother. His quiet competence
in camping skills, his pride of accomplishment, his willingness to simply
observe and not speak – they were all surprising signs of maturity the older
brother hadn’t expected. But more
than anything else it was the nature of Enzo’s questions that had forever
altered Matrix’ perception. He’d
had no idea the boy was wrestling with such wrenching and adult frustrations –
he was a fully formed individual now, not just a static .JPEG of a past Matrix
would rather not have remembered. It
was more than a little unsettling, but it also filled him with a sense of pride
that surprised him almost as much as Enzo’s emotional growth.
The
second cycle of the trip had been a relaxing, pleasant breeze – the trail
looped to the west and met up with the spur that would eventually loop them back
towards their starting point and rendezvous with Bob.
The new trail hugged the foothills, occasionally dipping into small
valleys and climbing out again, but mostly relatively flat and pleasant.
The mountains were their constant companion on their left, and they
crossed numerous streams, some complete with spectacular datafalls.
Enzo had no trouble keeping up a good pace – Matrix never felt
egregiously stifled in his tempo, and despite an occasional good-tempered whine
Enzo soldiered along in strong spirit. Clearly
the boy’s physical conditioning had matured along with his outlook.
On
the second night they’d swapped jobs, and Enzo had pitched the tent and
gathered data while Matrix built the fire and cooked dinner.
The simplicity of camp life was soothing, and Matrix enjoyed the
particular freedom the wilderness afforded him – they walked, they drank, they
built their fire and ate, and they slept. Absent
the ache of a lost home and the guilt of a sister abandoned it was an especially
appealing existence, and the big sprite enjoyed sharing it with the brother who
seemed to be morphing into a young man before his eyes.
As
the third cycle dawned, Matrix knew that a reunion with Bob and a trip home
awaited them at the end of a long cycle’s hiking.
To his surprise he felt himself saddened by the prospect – something
that would have been unthinkable before they’d departed.
They breakfasted on energy bars and bad java, broke camp and rejoined the
trail. The two sprites hiked side
by side now, sharing occasional smiles and comments about what they saw, but
speaking little as they walked.
Lunch
was canned stew and energy shake pouches, eaten on a large, flat boulder on the
edge of the widest and deepest river they’d seen on their trip.
Once the stew was finished Enzo dug into his bag and produced, with a
flourish, a huge slab of chocolate cake. “Hey
– what’s this?”
“Surprise!”
Enzo grinned. “I wanted to save it for the last cycle, so we’d have
something special. Dot baked it the
night before we left.”
“Good
work.” The boy broke the wedge of
cake in half and handed a piece to his brother.
“Makes a nice change from energy bars and dried noodles.”
“Thanks,
Aniki.”
“Aniki?
What’s that?”
“It’s
Japanese.” The teenager replied, blushing a little.
“It means, sorta, big brother and teacher rolled into
one. I heard it on an anime MPEG
I watch sometimes.” He looked up.
“Is it OK?”
Matrix
smiled. He felt oddly flattered –
and who knew the boy watched anime, for that matter?
“Sure, Enzo. If you want.”
“Cool.”
They
ate in silence for a few millis. “Hope
you brought napkins – you need one.”
“Shut
up!” Enzo laughed, wiping his mouth on a sleeve.
“Like you can eat cake without a fork and not make a mess.”
“See
any on my face, Kid?”
“It’s
hidden in your beard.”
“You
wish.”
“What
I wish is that we had some milk.”
“I
wouldn’t want milk that’s been in your pack for three cycles.” They finished the dessert, staring out over the river rushing
by them in its rush to surrender itself to a data sea somewhere far away.
“Pretty
good trip, huh?”
Matrix
turned his attention back to his brother. “Having
fun?”
“Yeah.”
The boy nodded. “You?”
“Yeah.
Not bad at all, Kid. Been
through a lot worse. Looking
forward to getting home?”
“I
guess.” Enzo sighed. “I kinda
wish we were staying longer, though. I
like it here.”
“Yeah.
Me too.”
“Really?”
“Don’t
act so surprised, Enzo! Did you
think I was having a terrible time?”
“No,
I just… When we first got here, I
wasn’t sure if you really wanted to come or you were just doing it for me.”
“That’s
not my style, is it?”
The
boy smiled. “I guess not.
You’re much too selfish.”
“Whatever.”
Matrix swung playfully at his brother, who ducked out of the way.
“So – how’s the guitar coming?
You still play?”
“The
guitar?” Enzo seemed surprised by
the sudden turn in the conversation. “Yeah
– I don’t practice as much as I should when I’m at school, though.
Bob’s been giving me lessons this summer.”
“That’s
good.”
“I
tried to write a song. You know –
for Lisa.” The boy blushed. “But
that didn’t work out too well…”
Matrix
chuckled. “Well – keep at it.
I never found writing very easy, so I guess you don’t either.”
“Guess
not. Songs, anyway.
What about you, Matrix – d’you ever play?”
“The
guitar?” he spat, a trifle harshly.
“No. I won’t even look
at that thing.”
“Yeah.”
Enzo whispered. “You could get a
different one though, couldn’t you?”
“What’s
the point? I don’t have the time,
and I’m no good for learning stuff like that at my age. You’ll have to be good enough for both of us.”
“More
pressure.” His brother sighed.
“You
can handle it.” Matrix winked.
“I know it’s not easy trying to live up to my glorious standard.”
“Yeah.
You’re adored.”
“Don’t
be a smart-guy.” Matrix took
another playful swipe at the teenager. “Seriously
– you know you don’t have to try and please everybody or be like me, right?
Just do your own thing and don’t worry about that stuff.”
“I
know.” Enzo nodded, but it didn’t look to Matrix as if he believed it.
He stared at his brother for a few nanos, struck again by how familiar
and unfamiliar the face looked. When
the boy looked inside and saw his own fears there, the visage became that much
more familiar to his older brother. “What’re
you thinking?”
“Huh?”
“You
were looking at me.” Enzo said.
“Nothing…
Just thinking about how much you’ve changed.
It’s like you’re growing up overnight and I didn’t even notice.”
“You
said that the other night.”
“Did
I?” Matrix smiled. “Well,
it’s true. I didn’t realize you
were serious into girls and worrying about the future and all that…
Not to mention how much stronger you are, and better at taking care of
yourself. I guess I haven’t been
spending enough time with you to notice.”
He sighed. “Maybe I
haven’t been spending enough time with you, period.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.
You’re my brother, y’know?”
“Yeah.”
Enzo nodded, blushing. “I like
doing stuff with you. We should do
it more.”
“Yeah.”
“You’ve
changed too, y’know. A
lot.”
“What?”
Matrix searched for mockery in his brother’s face, but none was
present. “What do you mean?”
Enzo
grinned. “You really don’t
know? You’re, like, a totally
different sprite from when we- well – when we met, I guess.”
“Different
how?”
“Besides
you hating me then, you mean?”
Matrix
recoiled, then scowled. “Codeswap
you.”
“Sorry.”
His brother mumbled. “That was
mean – and it wasn’t what I meant, anyways.”
“Well
– what, then?”
The
boy shrugged. “I don’t know how
to say it, but it’s totally obvious! You’re
more… You’re more OK, now
– y’know? You don’t get mad
at everything and everybody and wish everything was different all the time.
You’re cool with stuff as it is – well, most of the time.”
“I
am?”
“Sure!
And you’re a lot easier to talk to.
You actually answer sometimes, now!
And you don’t get mad and yell as much, either.
You’re just cooler, all-around.”
“Thanks.
I guess…”
“Welcome.
And you’re different, you know… with me.
Than you used to be. A lot
different.”
Matrix
felt a stab of regret at the implications of that statement, even as he knew its
veracity. “Yeah – I guess I did
know that one.”
Enzo
smiled weakly. “I know you used
to-”
“Don’t
say it!”
“I
wasn’t! I was just gonna say you
used to not like being around me very much.
I know you felt uncomfortable sometimes when I was around, and I know it
was hard for you to talk to me.”
“Well
– it was kinda hard for me to talk to everybody then.
Still is, sometimes.”
“Yeah.”
The boy sighed. “But I know it
was always different with me, because of everything with, you know, us.
I always wanted to talk to you, though.
I always wanted to know everything you could tell me, but you didn’t
want to tell me stuff very often.”
Matrix
stared out over the data in silence for a moment.
“I’m sorry, Enzo. I know I wasn’t always a great brother.”
“It’s
totally cool.” The youth replied. “I
get it, Matrix – I know why it’s so hard for you, with me. It’s no big file.”
“It’s
a pretty big file, Kid.”
“Well…
Maybe.” Matrix felt a
small but firm squeeze on his arm. “But
it’s a lot better now – y’know? Like
now, this trip. And even when it
was hard, I never though you didn’t- I
mean, I always knew you…”
“Yeah.”
The big sprite looked at his brother.
“You know it.”
“Yeah.”
Enzo smiled. “So see?
You changed a lot, too. We
both changed. But we’re cool now so it’s all good, right?”
“Yeah!”
Matrix laughed, marveling not for the first time at his twin’s remarkable
reserves of empathy. “It’s all
good, Little Brother.”
“It’s
good when things change sometimes. Don’t
you think?” Enzo picked up a
pebble and tossed it into the river. “Sometimes
you think changes are bad, and you wish they’d never happened.
But then after a while, you realize that maybe you were being selfish,
and they weren’t bad changes after all.”
“Like
what, Enzo?”
“Dunno.”
Another pebble splashed into the data.
“When Mac was born, even though I knew Bob and Dot were really happy,
sometimes I wasn’t. Sometimes I even wished it had never happened.”
“Really?”
The
boy nodded wordlessly and stared at the rushing data.
“I was totally sure Dot wasn’t gonna love me as much any more, now
that she had Mac. And I knew it
even more, because Mac was her son and I’m not.”
Matrix
found himself surprised at the admission, almost instantly realizing how unsurprising
it was. How easy it would have been
to talk with Enzo then – to help him deal with the shattering of the world he
knew. Bob and Dot had been busy,
heads swimming as they tried to adapt to parenthood – Matrix had all the time
in the world. But he hadn’t –
it just hadn’t occurred to him. “I
don’t… She’d never do
that.”
“I
know. But I didn’t know then.
I… I don’t even think I
wanted Mac as a nephew or anything, at first.
Even though I could see how happy Sis was.”
Matrix
sighed and patted his brother’s back awkwardly.
“That was natural, Kid – anyone would have felt the same way in your
shoes. You just needed time to get
used to the idea, you know?”
The
boy nodded. “But it’s like,
things are a certain way, and you have certain sprites around and you like
it, you know? And then a new person
comes in and it sort of randomizes everything and that makes everything seem wrong
at first, and you blame the new person, even if they’re only a little kid.”
He looked up. “But then,
you realize that it isn’t bad the new way, it’s just different.
And it can even be really good to have a new sprite around. You know?”
Matrix
stared down at his brother, trying to read his eyes for the thrust behind his
words, but the boy’s gaze revealed nothing.
“Yeah. It definitely can
be, once you get used to it.” He
turned his eyes back out to the river and the hills beyond.
“Cool.”
“Well
- I can tell you this much, you definitely don’t have to worry about Dot.
She worries about you all the time when you’re away – it never stops.
That’ll never change.”
“I
know.” Enzo said softly. “Now.”
“What
you have with Dot – I’ll never have that, you know.
I was gone too long, and I came back too different.
She’s still my sister, but it’ll never be like it was.”
“Don’t
say that!” the boy scolded.
“Don’t
kid yourself, Enzo. I’ve accepted
all this for a long time, now – I came back from the games a different sprite
than I was before. I know things
could never be like they were. I
just had to try and make the best of it and have a new life.”
“Well
– maybe.” Enzo replied dubiously. “I
know you were gone a long time. But
you shouldn’t say that about Dot – she still cares about you and worries
about you and everything else.”
“I
know.” Matrix smiled at his brother. “It’s
OK, Enzo – like I said, I accepted all this a long time ago.
Dot didn’t know how to deal with a grown-up brother – she needed time
to adjust, too. We’re fine now
– it’s just different than it is with you.
Like you said, different isn’t always a bad thing.”
“I
guess.” The boy sighed. He took a
long swig out of his data bottle and wiped his mouth.
“I know Dot still loves me, and I know that’s why she still wants to
take care of me. But
sometimes…”
“What?”
“Sometimes
I wish she wasn’t so… there. I
get really sick of everybody taking care of me and worrying about me.
Bob does it, too – even you do it.”
“I
do not!”
“You
do too, Matrix.” Enzo frowned. “Like
when you told me to stay where you could see me, when I went to piss?”
Matrix
blushed. “Yeah – but I mean –
there are wild animals and everything and I didn’t want you to wander off and
get lost-”
“See?
Even at school – Mouse and Ray and Laser, they all do it.
I know they worry about me and they wouldn’t do it if they didn’t
like me and I appreciate it, I really do. But
sometimes I just want to take care of myself.”
“Kid-”
“I’m
fourteen, Enzo! Almost…”
the teenager growled plaintively. “I
live on my own in a dorm and I’ve survived games on my own – do you really
think I’m gonna get lost at a campsite?”
“No
– I don’t. I was just worried
about… I don’t know, whatever.
I was worried.”
“Yeah.”
The boy spat. “Maybe if I
didn’t look like a ten-hour old everyone wouldn’t worry about me so much!”
“Stop
that!” his brother sighed. “You
don’t look ten – you’re just small for your age, that’s all.
And probably not even that – those kids are all older than you
are.”
“But
look at you. Why am I still
like this and you’re like that? If
I grew a little faster maybe everyone would stop treating me like a
little kid!”
Matrix
searched for the words to soothe his brother, but none came. It was as hard to vocalize the boy’s frustrations now as it
had been then, when he was the boy.
And he hadn’t had to deal with a living, breathing version of his adult
self every cycle. He cuffed his
brother’s neck helplessly. “It’ll
come, Enzo. Just be patient.”
“I’m
tired of being patient. That’s
the only answer I ever hear – be patient.”
“You
know, maybe you should be grateful you have sprites to care about you
instead of bitching about it. Not
everyone does.”
“I
know, I know! You said that
before.” Another splash on the
data. “I’m just an ungrateful
little null, right?”
“Did
I say that?”
“No.”
Enzo sighed. “Sorry.
I feel like I am sometimes, when I get this way.”
Matrix
left his hand on his brother’s neck. “Just
keep proving yourself, Enzo. Like
you have been. Being tall and
strong isn’t everything, and you’ll be those things soon enough
anyway. Do the best with what you
have and you’ll do fine. Remember
your strengths – if you’re not big and strong enough, be smart enough.”
“K.
I’ll try.”
“And
as far as Dot goes… She’ll
never stop wanting to take care of you because you’ll always be her kid, at
least in the back of her processor. Don’t
waste any time wanting that to change – it won’t.
Just accept it and cut her some slack – she only does it ‘cause she
cares so much.”
“I
know. I was worried she wouldn’t
care as much, and now sometimes I wish she didn’t. Does that make me a bad sprite?”
“’Course
not. It just makes you a
teenager.”
“Stop!”
the boy laughed. “I’m serious,
Enzo!”
“So
am I! I didn’t exactly have a
normal childhood, you know? But
I’m pretty sure this stuff is normal. Just
don’t let it drive you offline.”
“I’ll
try. Thanks.”
“NP.
Speaking of normal childhoods, how’s your social life?
You have any friends at that Academy?”
“Sure
I do.” The boy smiled.
“Really?”
“Don’t
sound so surprised! Thanks a lot.”
“I’m
not! I’m just glad to hear it,
that’s all. I know how worried
you were about dealing with other kids and all that.”
“Yeah,
well – I guess I was. Especially
older ones. It wasn’t easy at
first, but I’m doing all right.”
“You
have a group you hang with?” Matrix
grinned. “Have you got your own
posse?”
“Stop!”
Enzo blushed. “Nothing like that.
I’m not really friends with all that many kids.
A lot of them kinda looked at me funny because I knew Bob and Mouse and
Laser, and most of the second-hours wouldn’t be caught dead hanging with a
sprout. But-”
“Sprout?”
“Yeah,
uh… That’s what the seconds
called us. Them now, I
guess…”
“Now
I know why you made me stop calling you that!”
“Yeah.”
Enzo shrugged. “So like I said,
it was kind of weird with a lot of the kids at first.
But Linux is totally cool – he’s my roommate. And Lisa, and there’s another girl named Patch who’s kind
of dating Linux, and the four of us do something pretty much every minute-end.
We go to Quicktimes and have pizza, and we hang out at Starbauds.
It’s pretty cool.”
Matrix
found himself deeply touched to hear his brother talk so casually about
something so normal – something he knew, from experience, meant a huge
file to the boy. “That’s
alphanumeric, Enzo. I never got to
have that when I was a kid – it’s awesome that you do.”
“Thanks
Aniki. It is pretty
cool – I couldn’t imagine myself doing stuff like that with guys my own age,
y’know? And now I just do
it. It rocks.”
“Yeah.
Sorry I said what I did about you coming home from the Academy, OK?
I wasn’t giving you your due.”
“It’s
cool. You about ready to go?”
“Yeah.”
Matrix checked his internal clock. “Got
a long way to go today, so I guess we better.”
The
boy lithely sprung down off the boulder and slipped his pack back on.
“Think you can keep up, Old Man? I’m
gonna be setting a pretty fast pace.”
“I’ll
manage, Shortstop. I could lap you
if I had two broken legs.”
“We’ll
see how big you talk in a few micros.” Enzo grinned over his shoulder,
striding on down the trail. Matrix
shouldered his pack and fell in behind him, measuring his pace to the boy’s
brisk one, knowing Enzo would slow down once his burst of exuberance burned
itself out and he’d catch up. “Matrix?”
“Yeah?”
“Sorry
you didn’t get to do all that stuff. When
you were me, I mean.”
“It’s
cool. I was with the most amazing
girl in the net, so I’m not complaining.”
“Yeah.” Enzo said thoughtfully. He glanced backwards. “Second most, now!” With a grin he turned back to the trail, Matrix right behind, stifling a laugh.
* * *
There
had been a dreamlike quality to the last few cycles, there was no denying it.
There was a time – and it wouldn’t have been all that long ago,
either – where Enzo could never have imagined the level of familiarity he’d
shared with his brother. It was as
though he was seeing Matrix as a whole sprite for the first time, and not just
as an admired and vaguely menacing presence.
It wasn’t enough to satisfy – not by a long shot.
But it was alphanumeric, just the same.
The
boy wasn’t sure of the reason for the change – maybe it was just a question
of the two of them being together, with no one else to be a buffer between them.
Maybe they had to talk to each other like they hadn’t before –
maybe that’s all it was. But he suspected it was something more – something that had
changed in him. Maybe both
of him.
As
the afternoon wore on and their rendezvous with Bob grew closer, Enzo’s
thoughts turned wistful. Soon the
trip would be just memory, and soon after he’d be back at the Academy.
Why didn’t he appreciate the time he had with his family while
he was having it? He certainly did
when he was missing it! He didn’t want the trip to end, now. He didn’t want the summer to end. There was his birthday coming up and all, and that was cool.
And he’d be seeing Lisa again, and that was more than cool.
But these nanos with Matrix would be gone, and then his summer at home
behind it. And the next time he saw them all, he’d be older.
Always older – sometimes it felt too fast, sometimes not fast enough.
Why didn’t it ever just feel right?
“You’re
too quiet.”
“What?”
“You’re
too quiet.” Matrix’ voice came from beside him.
“You don’t rattle on like you used to, but you’re still you
and you haven’t said anything for micros.”
Enzo
felt mildly annoyed. “Maybe I’m
turning into you.”
“I
don’t know which one of us should be scared more by that.
Seriously – what’s processing?”
“I’m
fine. Just wishing we were gonna be
here a while longer. But keep
making fun of me and I’ll get over it pretty quick.”
“Sorry.”
Matrix chortled. “We got a ways
to go yet, don’t worry – Bob won’t be here till twenty-six hundred.”
“Yeah.”
The boy looked around him, file-saving the images of the lush forest and
the sounds of the creatures that inhabited it.
“And it’ll be good to get home, I guess.
My birthday’s next minute.”
“Fourteen,
huh?”
“Yup.
Gonna get me a nice present?”
Matrix
rapped him on the back of the head. “I
already did. I let you
process for another minute, didn’t I?”
“Ow!”
Enzo swung wildly at a broad shoulder, but his brother easily dodged out
of the way. “I liked you better
when you didn’t think you were funny.”
“WARNING:
INCOMING GAME
WARNING:
INCOMING GAME”
Enzo
looked up, surprised at the masculine voice that broke into their conversation.
“A game? Here?”
Matrix
frowned and scanned the sky. “I’ve
seen it happen – these wilderness systems get adventure games sometimes.
Not very often though.”
“There!”
Enzo pointed, feeling a familiar rush of adrenaline as it caused his heart to
speed in his chest. A dark green
cylinder was descending from the sky a short distance to their right.
“It’s a game cylinder – cool!”
“I’ve
seen ‘em in a few systems. Not as
common as cubes, but the realism factor is higher.”
“Should
we play?”
“Play?”
Matrix looked surprised. “Why?”
“We’re
Guardians, aren’t we?” Enzo asked excitedly.
He could hear the adrenaline causing his voice to rise to a distressingly
boyish pitch, but he couldn’t help it when a game was concerned.
He had the codes, after all, and they were telling him to defend – but
the desire had burned in him even before he’d been upgraded.
“If we don’t, the sector will get nullified – and all the animals
and trees and stuff! I’m sure
there’s no resident Guardian in a system with so few people.”
“Not
with the war on.” Matrix nodded dubiously.
“But I don’t know – we don’t need to defend the game –
there’s probably no sprites here.”
“But
it’s so beautiful! And all those
animals and their babies… Come
on, Matrix – we’re both Guardians, we can handle the game.
It’ll be fun.” The
cylinder was falling disturbingly quickly.
“We can still make it!”
Matrix
stared down at him and sighed. “You’ll
never let me hear the end of it if we don’t, will you?”
Enzo
grinned. “Nope.”
“All
right, all right, let’s-”
“C’mon!”
Enzo took of at a dash through the trees, feeling the thrill of the nano
course through his veins. Racing the cube – well, cylinder anyway - defending
a game – there was nothing like it.
“Wait
up!” his brother shouted. “Ow!
Deleted thorns…”
“We
can make it! Hurry!” The teenager was glad for once to be small and agile, rather
than burly and powerful.
“You
think I’m letting you in a game in a strange system without me?”
Enzo could hear his brother smashing through the same undergrowth he was
nimbly leaping over and squeezing through.
Despite his size, though, Matrix wasn’t falling behind.
“Crash! I just stepped in
something!”
“Almost
there!” Enzo panted. He skidded
to a halt, the dark green of the game cylinder filling his view completely as he
craned his neck upwards. “Made
it!”
Matrix
pulled up beside him, scowling and picking burrs off his legs.
“Why do I let you talk me into this stuff?
Defending a game on a deserted system – it‘s just not smart.”
“I
bet you’d have done it anyway, even if I wasn’t here.”
“You’d
lose.”
“Whatever.”
Not even Matrix could spoil his mood when a game was about to hit.
“Here it comes!” Enzo
closed his eyes – he always did, though he was never quite sure why – and
felt a tingle of energy wash over him. Soon
after it was followed by the bracing slap of a chill wind, and he opened them to
see an endless patina of white, broken only by dark gray shards of exposed rock
towering above them. They were in
the mountains – and high in them, at that.
“Dude – where are we?”
Matrix
shielded his eyes from the blinding glare of the sunlight reflecting off the
snow and ice surrounding them. “Everest.”
“Never
heard of it.”
“No?
So the great Academy student doesn’t know everything yet, huh?”
Matrix smiled grimly. “I’ve
seen this one a couple times – “Roof of the World Challenge”.
We have to be the first ones to reach the summit – highest one in the
User world. The User will be coming
up from the other side, trying to beat us there.
If he does, we’re toast.”
“A
climbing game, huh?” It sounded
easy enough – the boy had been through a few simulations at the Academy.
“Free climbing or technical?”
Matrix
arched an eyebrow. “Free, mostly
– but it’s pretty tough. There
are some technical stretches, too – hard ones.
Be careful and do what I tell you to at all times, got it?”
“Whatever.”
There it was, again – in a nano he was ten, not almost fourteen and
about to be a second-hour Guardian cadet. In
Matrix’ eyes, he was a child who needed protection, not a partner.
His disgust was nudged aside quickly by physical discomfort. “Why is it so cold?”
Matrix
smiled, a little smugly. “I told
you – systems with game cylinders have a higher reality factor. Is it too cold for you?”
“No
– I’m fine!” the teenager spat. “I
was in a game with Bob that was much colder than this one.
Bring it on.”
“OK,
Kid – don’t waste your energy getting ticked off, you’re gonna need it.
That extra dose of realism means we’re breathing air that’s way
thinner than you’re used to. You’re gonna get tired a lot faster than you
normally do.”
“Thinner?”
That was new – and just a trace of doubt began to creep into Enzo’s
confidence. “I’m sure I can
handle it.”
“Yeah,
well – we’ll see. Ready?”
“Let’s
do it.” Both sprites tapped their
icons, and with a cry of “Reboot!” Enzo’s world shimmered for a nano, and
then he almost fell over backwards. He
took a nano to steady himself, then looked himself over. Jagged metal spikes adorned the bottom of his boots, and he
felt the bulk of some kind of goggles on his forehead. Most of all, he felt the weight of his pack.
“Not
bad.” Enzo looked up at his
brother. Matrix was still
considerably larger, but the difference between them wasn’t quite so extreme
as it was in the real world. Like
his brother the big sprite had goggles on his forehead and the metal spikes on
his boots, and he was dressed in a heavy coat that Enzo knew was similar to the
one that likely adorned his own torso. Matrix’
pack looked huge, but he appeared not to bow under its weight.
“Good gear.”
“Yeah.”
Enzo nodded dubiously. He tried to
stand as straight as possible and held up a foot.
“These are called crampons, right?”
“Very
good. Wouldn’t get too far up
here without those – that ice would send you down to the bottom of the icefall
in a big hurry.”
“Icefall?
Is that where we are?”
“Yup.”
Matrix smiled darkly. “The Khumbu
Icefall – see all those big towers of ice up ahead?
They don’t call it the ice fall for nothing – those things
come down without much warning. And
trust me, you don’t want to be underneath one when it does.”
“You’re
just trying to scare me.” Enzo scowled.
“This
is a big area for crevasses, too – you know what those are?”
“Of
course! They’re like big canyons
in the ice.”
“Big
– sometimes little. And they can
open up right in front of you without any warning – even right under
you.”
Enzo
could see the glint in his brother’s eye, and knew the big sprite was enjoying
the discomfort he was causing in his brother.
“Maybe we should just stay here and toast marshmallows, if this place
scares you so much.”
“Just
trying to prepare you, that’s all. We’ll
go through the icefall roped together, even though it’s mostly free climbing
– just in case you fall in a crevasse.”
“Me?
Why me? What if you
fall in?”
All
trace of humor was gone from Matrix’ eyes.
“Then you unclip yourself from the rope as fast as you can, Enzo.
No bullshit – do it. You
get me?”
Enzo’s
jaw dropped open. “Unclip
myself?”
“As
fast as you can. We’ll walk a
ways apart so you’ll have a couple nanos.
I’m serious, Enzo – you got it?”
“Yeah.
Fine.” The boy muttered. Let
him think whatever he wants… “Why
is my deleted pack so heavy?”
“We
have to carry a lot of survival equipment in this environment.
Climbing ropes, carabiners, water…
And oxygen. You won’t be
able to function for long up here without it – steel oxygen cylinders.
And your pack feels heavier because the thin air makes you weaker.”
“I’m
fine – don’t worry about me.” Matrix
was right, of course – already he didn’t feel quite right in the thin air,
but the boy wasn’t about to admit it. “I
was just asking, that’s all.”
Matrix
scanned the mountain above them worriedly.
“Maybe I better take some of the load out of your pack – it’s a
tough climb to the top.”
“No!
I can carry my share, don’t worry.”
“Don’t de dumb, Enzo.” The
big sprite sighed. “You know what
they call the mountains, this high up? “The
death zone”. It’s no place for
pride – we don’t have any margin for error up here.”
“I’m
not a little kid, Spammit!” Enzo growled.
He took off towards higher ground at a determined march, the weight of
his pack feeling like Matrix tugging him backwards. “If we stand around arguing all day the user will beat us
to the top for sure!”
“Wait!”
Matrix snapped. His crampons
crunched into the ice behind the teenager.
“I’m
not giving you any of my gear. I’m
fine.”
“Just
wait.” Now Matrix really was
pulling Enzo back, and he halted and turned.
“We need to get our oxygen masks set up, Nullhead!
If you want to be treated like a grown-up stop acting like a little kid
in a snit!” Enzo stood, panting
heavily, wanting to snap back with a sharp reply but unable to muster the
breath. “See?
Now do you understand how tough this is going to be?”
“Just…shut
up, all right? I’m sorry.”
Matrix
fumbled with Enzo’s pack, fighting the zipper with thickly gloved hands.
After a nano the boy felt a mask slip over his mouth and nose, filling
his nostrils with a sickly rubber smell. “You
ever wear an oxygen mask before?”
Enzo
nodded. “Yeah.
Under… Underwater.
In a diving game. Treasure
hunt.”
“Good.
Same basic idea – just breathe naturally.
The rig goes right on top of your pack.
I’m setting it just about medium flow – don’t turn it up unless you
start to really lose it, OK? We
have to make it last all the way to the top.”
“Yeah.”
His voice was oddly muffled. “No
problem. You need help setting yours?”
“I
got it. And put your goggles on –
the glare off the ice will blind you if you don’t.”
“Got
it.” Enzo fumbled with his
goggles for a nano with fingers that felt thick and clumsy, then settled it over
his eyes. Immediately the headache
he’d felt brewing behind his temples lessened, and he felt his breathing begin
to slow down. “Man…
That’s better.”
“Told
you – thin air.” Matrix was
rooting through his pack again. A
moment later he was stringing a climbing rope through the clip of his climbing
harness. “You know how to use one
of these?”
“Uh…”
Enzo was still having a hard time concentrating – he knew he
knew how, but his processor felt all fuzzy.
“Gimme a nano – I know how!”
“It’s
OK.” Matrix smiled. “The oxygen
takes a few millis to kick in. See
this tab? Press this and you thread
more rope through the carabiner. And
this one will unclip you from the rope. You
understand? That’s important.”
“Yes
– I got it. Press the tab and it
unclips the rope.”
“Good
boy.” Matrix played out a length
of rope about twice his height, looped the rope through his own harness and
tested it. “We’re good here.
I’ll flank over a ways to the left in case of crevasses – we’ll
short-rope all the way through the icefall.
Help me keep the rope from getting tangled on any obstacles, all
right?”
“Yeah.”
Enzo nodded. He looked up into the
dazzlingly blue sky and picked out a pyramid of rock to their left.
“Is that the summit?”
“That’s
it.”
“Doesn’t
look too far…”
“It’s
not how far it is – it’s how difficult it is to get there. You ready to go?”
“Yeah
– I feel better. Let’s do
it.” He gave Matrix a thumbs’
up and the brothers started off across the vast field of ice, their crampons
crunching loudly with each step. The
canned air was making him feel better, but his body felt run through with
a persistent weakness – even lifting his legs to stride forward was harder
than it should have been.
The
landscape of the game was austere and harsh, but oddly beautiful.
The brilliance of the blue sky was dazzling against the white of the snow
and ice, which covered every surface but for isolated outcroppings of gray rock.
As they walked through the icefall the howl of distant wind was
occasionally joined by vast creaks and groans that came from deep beneath them.
“Is that the ice?”
“Yup.”
Matrix answered. “It’s always
shifting and settling.” Enzo eyed
a vast pinnacle of ice warily as they passed next to it.
Just at that nano there was a loud “crack” and the boy flinched,
involuntarily, but the ice mountain appeared not to have moved.
“Just a crevasse opening up somewhere – don’t worry.”
“I’m
not.” Enzo mumbled nervously. The
jolt of fear gave him a spike of energy, but soon it dissipated and the teenager
felt a malaise begin to grip his body. The
air was thin, but it’s effect was as though it were thick and unyielding, as
if they were slogging through heavy mud.
Soon
the ground rose more sharply as the vast towers of ice grew scarcer, and a wall
of ice and rock grew larger and larger in front of them.
Beyond it, shrouded by wisps of cloud and looking close enough to touch,
loomed the summit - but even in his weariness Enzo knew that was an illusion.
The peak was farther away than it looked.
“We have to…climb that…now?”
“Yeah.”
Matrix huffed. “It’s the most
technical part of the climb. After
that it’s all free climbing, maybe a couple of spots where we’ll need minor
gear.”
The
boy looked up at the wall of ice-covered rock in front of them. He’d done more than his share of climbing simulations
during his first hour at the Academy, but it still looked formidable.
“We belay up this?”
“Yeah.
I’ll go ahead and set some handholds with ice screws, and belay you up.
We’ll take it one step at a time.”
“What
about the User?” Enzo panted. “Do
we have time?”
“He’s
got a hard climb too – the northern route is even tougher than this one.
We’ll make it. You good to go?”
“Yeah.”
he nodded. His head felt clear, but
his body weak – the pack still felt like ten men weighing him down.
“Stay
put – I’ll climb as far as that first ledge and set the rope, then you
follow.”
“Right.”
Enzo was too tired to argue the point, much as he would have liked to.
Matrix started carefully picking his way up the rock face, using his
small ice axe to chip a handhold into the permafrost when none was readily
available. Where there was rock he
pounded pitons, and where ice covered it thickly he used ice screws. Threading the rope through carabiners at every step, he made
his way to the ledge, perhaps ten times Enzo’s height above the icefall.
“Ho!
You ready?”
“Yeah!”
“Grab
the rope and get your bitmap up here, then!”
Enzo flashed a thumbs’-up, grabbed the rope that was still attached to
his harness and began working his way upwards.
Heights
didn’t bother the boy, especially – he rather enjoyed climbing under better
circumstances, and with the rope and the various anchors Matrix had left him the
technical aspects of the climb weren’t very difficult as long as he didn’t
look down. But the leaden weariness
he felt made every nano of the ascent torture – his arms were aflame with
agony and by the time he pulled himself onto the ledge he knew the smile he
tried to force out looked much more like a grimace.
“Made…it!”
“Good
job.” Matrix said with a punctuating clap on the shoulder. “Wish we had a keytool right now – it’d be nice to know
where the User is.”
“I’m
fine. Let’s just keep going.”
“Let’s
switch bottles first.” Matrix
retrieved a fresh bottle and reached for his brother’s rig.
“I’ll
do it.” Enzo panted, taking the canister.
“While you do yours. Save
time.”
“You
sure, Kid?”
“Yeah.
I know how to do it.” He
knew how the mechanism worked – it was simple and straightforward, and under
different circumstances he wouldn’t even have needed to pay attention as he
replaced the oxygen. As it was, he
slowly and carefully unscrewed the empty bottle from the apparatus, measuring
every action and forcing his wearier body to obey his weary processor.
By
the time he’d inserted the new canister into the housing and adjusted the
flow, Matrix had finished and was waiting for him.
“Got it?”
“Yeah
– NP. Let’s go.”
“In
a nano.”
Matrix
was at his brother’s back again, unzipping his pack.
“What’re you doing?”
“Taking
some of your load. To speed us
up.”
“What?
Why? I told you I was fine,
Matrix!”
“There’s
no point in taking chances.” Matrix scowled, stuffing equipment into his
already bursting pack. “You
don’t have to prove anything to me, Enzo – I don’t think you’re weak.”
Frustration
boiled up inside the boy. “I can
carry my own share, Spammit. Just
let me do it!”
“Don’t
they teach you anything at that Academy? Winning
the game is all that matters. Look
– you don’t have to apologize because you’re fourteen and I’m grown-up
– it’s not like it’s your fault! If
I can take the extra weight and get us both up to the top faster, why the hell
shouldn’t I?”
“But…”
In his weakened state Enzo just couldn’t make his processor run fast
enough to come up with a convincing counterargument.
And if Matrix didn’t understand, he couldn’t make him
understand. “Fine. Just do
it.”
“Stupid.”
Matrix muttered as he shifted more weight from Enzo’s backpack.
“We aren’t even going to need these that much longer, anyway – we
can dump most of the equipment once we get to the top of the face.
You ready?”
“Yeah.”
Matrix’
pack looked enormous, but the big sprite seemed to bear it without much
difficulty. “OK – I’ll work
my way up to that little ice shelf up there and then belay you up.
Can you do it?”
Enzo
craned his neck. “Crash, that’s
not even sheer – it’s an overhang!”
“It’s
also the fastest way to the top. We
can go around to the right if you want – it looks easier. But it’ll cost us some time.”
“No
– go the way you said. I can do
it.”
“You
sure?”
“I
said I was, didn’t I?” The
teenager managed a weak smile. “I’ll
be fine – no point in taking chances with time when we don’t know how fast
the User’s going.”
“Fair
enough.” Without further ceremony
the big sprite began inching his way up the rock face, sheer immediately above
the ledge but becoming an overhang as it approached the shelf of ice that was
their next planned stop. Enzo was
scared just watching his brother scale the incline laden with the enormous pack
– it seemed almost impossible that he could make his way up in those
conditions without existing aid, but he methodically worked his way upwards,
planting pitons and ice screws and leaving a trail of rope behind him. The boy was filled with an overwhelming sense of admiration
for his brother in that nano, the likes of which he’d never felt before.
Matrix was incredible – his strength unimaginable, and courage to
match. Was it really possible that he
would be so powerful some cycle? As
small and weak as he felt at that nano, the answer seemed all too obvious.
A
growing sense of unease about the climb gripped Enzo’s stomach as his brother
neared the small platform of ice. Training
or no, this was far more difficult than anything he’d ever attempted.
When Matrix disappeared over the lip of ice and shouted down a moment
later, the boy tried to take an example from the big sprite, swallowed a deep
breath, and began pulling his way up the rope.
Almost
instantly he was grateful for the decreased weight on his back.
The difference in workload was enormous, and considering the radical
steepness of the climb it was hard to imagine he would have had the strength to
manage it otherwise. But who knew
what strength you could find, when you needed it?
Enzo picked his way upwards, unclipping the rope from the carabiners as
he ascended past them and availing himself of the handholds that Matrix had left
him. He looked up once to see his
brother’s face peering down at him over the ledge, but he didn’t hold that
gaze. The task at hand was what
mattered now - nothing else.
Enzo
broke the climb down into pieces, just as he’d broken down the cycles after
he’d first left home into less-scary chunks of time.
It was better if he didn’t look down or up – just concentrated on the
rock and ice in front of him, on the rope and the next handhold – especially
when the slope grew past parallel, and he knew his back was to the ground.
His lungs burned from the thin air and his shoulders and legs cramped
from effort, but he knew he was ascending that cliff at a steady pace.
And soon – it felt almost astonishingly soon, though he wouldn’t have
been able to say just how long it actually was – he felt the top of his
head bang into the shelf of ice and felt powerful arms pulling him atop it.
“Nice
of you to join me.”
“Got
here…as fast as I could.”
Matrix
winked. “You did a helluva job,
Little Brother – nice climbing. Now
you can rest for a nano.”
“Thanks,
Matrix.” Enzo panted, rubbing his aching upper arms. “We better not rest for too long… Who knows where the User is.”
“You
sure?”
“Yeah.”
“OK,
Kiddo. You can rest while I get to
the top.” The bearded sprite
looked up, thoughtfully. “It’s
not much farther… And the slope
is a lot gentler the rest of the way, too.
We could almost free climb it. And
once we get to the top of this face, it’s pretty much all free climbing the
rest of the way. We’ll stay roped
together on the Hilary Step, but it’s pretty much a footrace from here.”
“Hilary
Step?”
“It’s
a ridge, right before the summit – it’s not steep, but it’s a knife edge
– narrow. We’ll stay roped
together in case one of us falls off.” Matrix
jerked his gaze back down, face set in determination.
“Take off your pack.”
“Why?”
“Like
I said – it’s all about speed from here, Enzo.
I just need a couple of pitons and carabiners between here and the top of
the face, and from there all we need is the rope and one oxygen canister each.
We’ll change tanks here and I’ll take that other stuff in your pack
and dump mine here – we’ll be traveling a lot lighter, and lighter means
faster.”
“Cool.”
Enzo nodded. “But if it’s gonna be so light, why not just let me carry
it?”
“Enzo.
We’re not going to have this conversation again, are we?”
“No.”
The boy sighed, slipping off his pack. Pride
was clearly a dangerous companion that would always be with him – he could see
it, even as he wrestled with it. But
it wasn’t easy to simply swallow his pride, just like that – that’s what
no one seemed to understand.
Matrix
took off his pack and placed it next to Enzo’s on the ledge. Both sprites changed oxygen canisters again, Matrix again
finishing more quickly. He
transferred a few items from his pack to his brother’s, leaving the larger
pack groaning with equipment and slipping the lighter one onto his back. “Man – that’s a lot better.”
The
boy experimentally hefted the huge pack, and could barely budge it.
“Dude - how did you carry that thing?”
“Once
in a while these muscles come in handy.” His brother smiled.
“Sorry, Enzo – but it’s true.”
He stood and reached over his head, gently pounding a piton into the rock
face. He attached a Carabiner and
threaded the rope through it. “This’ll
be your first handhold, Kid. We
shouldn’t need more than one or two more between here and the top.”
“Right
– it looks easy enough.” Matrix
slipped his hammer back into his harness and experimentally tested the wall for
a foothold with his right leg. Enzo
heard something – felt
something was more like it – a vibration, through the soles of his boots.
“What was that?”