By Dan Green

Chapter 2 - Bare Essentials

It was nice, not having to talk.  Enzo liked to talk by nature, and silence freaked him out a little sometimes – though not as much as when he was younger.  And if he were honest, he’d be the first to admit there were plenty of times he wished that conversation came easier with Matrix than it did – that an easy, relaxed flow of communication was their norm rather than the tantalizing exception.  But if it wasn’t always easy to talk to Matrix, it was easier not to talk to him than anyone else – easier to just be with him, wordlessly.  He knew Matrix would understand what he meant. 

The boy felt himself slipping into an easy rhythm as the afternoon wore on.  The sound of footfalls was a steady drumbeat in his ears as the trail wound through thick green directory trees, the gurgling stream leaving them occasionally but always winding it’s way back to share their path.  As the trail rose gradually and the mountains in the distance grew closer, they trekked through occasional clearings where the trees gave way to broad meadows of tall grasses and wildflowers, butterflies soaring gracefully on the afternoon breezes.  They stopped for lunch in one of the meadows and when they resumed, the stream began to churn a little more loudly and meander less as the day grew hotter and they gained in elevation. 

Enzo was secretly glad he’d applied the sunscreen as he felt the sweat begin to trickle down his face and back, and he began to breathe a little harder.  “Dude – warm here.” 

“Yeah.” Matrix huffed.  “It’s actually not that hot, but we’re exerting ourselves pretty hard.  Wanna take a break?” 

“In a few.  Let’s wait till we find a really good spot.” 

“Cool.  Take a drink – make sure you keep yourself hydrated.  According to the map there’s a spring a little further up the trail – drinkable data.  We can refill all the bottles.” 

“OK, Dot.” Enzo mocked, taking a long swig from his bottle. 

“You pick up that smart-ASCII attitude at the Academy?” 

“Hey, just shitting you!  Chill, Dude.” 

“Along with that language.” Matrix sighed.  “Dot’ll be pretty disappointed.” 

“Dude – you wouldn’t tell her!”  The boy looked back over his shoulder, only to see Matrix grinning back at him.  “Now who’s the smart-ASCII?” 

“Takes one to know one.” 

“Man…”  Enzo scowled and turned away, the odd sound of Matrix chuckling behind him.  After a few more milliseconds of hiking, Enzo heard a low roar above the sound of the rushing stream beside them.  “What is that?” 

“Dunno.  Could be a swarm of bees, I guess.” 

“No way!”  They walked a few more millis, Enzo feeling slightly nervous and annoyed at himself for it as the noise grew louder.  They rounded a curve in the trail, and the boy pulled up suddenly.  “Dude!” 

“What is it?”  Matrix pulled up alongside him, frowning, then smiled as he saw what had brought his brother up short. 

“Enzo – it’s pixelacious!”  Before them the stream spread into a large pool, glinting silver and blue in the late-cycle sun.  The hillside beyond the pool rose sharply, and the stream thundered down its face in a series of four cascades, each twice again as tall as Matrix and spewing huge clouds of mist, before the final cascade emptied into the pool.  “That’s totally beautiful!” 

“You’re not spamming.  Nothing like this in Mainframe…” 

“Yeah.”  Enzo dropped his pack, grinning, and trotted over to the data’s edge.  “This pool looks alphanumeric.  It’s deep!” 

“Careful.” 

The boy wiped his forehead with a sleeve.  “It’s so hot…  I bet that data would feel awesome.” 

Matrix frowned.  “Enzo…” 

“C’mon, Big Brother – it looks perfect for swimming!  I’m so hot…” 

“I don’t think so.  I didn’t bring a suit, anyway – did you?” 

“No…”  Enzo slipped off his boots and socks, and dipped a toe into the pool.  “Oh, Man – it’s perfect!” 

“No.” 

“Why not?”  Enzo heard the pout in his voice and winced internally, just for a nano.  “We’re on vacation – we’re supposed to be having fun!” 

“Don’t give me that.” Matrix scowled, walking to the pool’s edge.  “It’s silly – we don’t have suits and we’ll get all wet, and-” 

“So what?”  Enzo dashed to a pile of boulders near the foot of the cascades and scrambled atop it.  “So we get wet – we’ll dry off.  It’ll be great!” 

“Enzo-” 

“Dude – it looks pixelacious!”  Enzo slipped his shirt over his head and dropped it to the stone beneath his feet.  “I’ve never skinny-dipped, anyway – I’m like the only guy at school who hasn’t.” 

“Enzo, don’t!  Come down from there.” 

The boy stuck out his tongue, giggling.  Turning away from his brother and blushing, he slipped his shorts – and his remaining modesty – down to his feet and stepped out of them, trying not to think about what he was doing long enough to let the embarrassment overwhelm his impetuous mood. 

“Enzo!” 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEHA!”  With a scream, the boy took two steps and felt himself hurtling through the air.  He drew his knees up to his chin and hit the data in a perfect cannonball. There was a breathtaking rush of cold, then he was under the surface, the data so clear he could see the trees shimmering by the poolside as clear as day. 

He broke the surface, teeth chattering, and the light was blinding as he did.  He felt alive, all over – it was a truly wonderful sensation.  “Oh, man!  This is pixelacious!” 

“Spammit, Enzo – get out of there right now!” 

“Byte me!”  The boy grinned up at his brother, dog paddling in place, hair matted over his face.  “It’s the best, Dude – come in!  I promise you’ll love it!” 

“I’m not coming in.  It’s stupid!” 

“Why, Matrix?  It’s hot out and the data’s great, and we’re on vacation.  It’s not like we’re supposed to be anywhere!  Come in – please?” 

“Stop it!” Matrix scowled.  “I’m not gonna get all wet and have to dry off, and… and it’s just stupid.  Come out.” 

“Aw, Dude…”  Enzo, remembering the clarity of the water, turned away from his brother quickly.  “I promise not to tell anybody if you do.”  There was silence behind him.  “Matrix?  How about it?” 

“Stupid…”  The boy heard his elder brother exhale deeply once, twice.  “I guess we’re not going anywhere until you get dried off anyway – we’re stuck here for a while, you’ve seen to that.” 

“Sorry.” 

“No you’re not.”  There was just a hint of amusement in the voice, beneath the usual Matrix annoyance with the net.  Enzo heard footfalls, than the soft impact of cloth on stone.  “I’d get the hell away from there, if I were you.” 

“What?”  There was a movement out of the corner of his eye, towards the boulder pile. 

“When I hit the data, most of it’s gonna end up on the banks.  And if you’re anywhere near the impact zone you’ll be flatter than a floppy.”  Enzo laughed in delight and kicked away, towards the far end of the pool.  “I must be basic…”  There was a slap of bare feet on rock, than a rumbling shout.  “Look out, beloooooooooow!” 

“Yeah!” Enzo squealed as the splash covered him, drenched him again.  Matrix sank towards the bottom of the deep little pond for a few nanos, then broke the surface spluttering.   “Dude – you rock!” 

“I sink like one!” Matrix shouted.  “Crash – this is deleted cold!” 

“Yeah – feels great, doesn’t it?”  The warmth of the sun on his face and the cool of the data on his body were wonderful, spectacular in their purity of sensation.  And he was with his brother – no one else, just the two of them and Matrix was smiling like a little kid.  Enzo laughed and started into a languid backstroke then, with a start and a blush, thought better of it and flipped into a freestyle circuit of the sparkling pond.  “Alphanumeric!” 

“Yeah – it ain’t bad, Kid.”  Matrix roughly tousled Enzo’s wet hair and the boy laughed, continuing to swim.  “I haven’t done anything like this in a long time.” 

“I never have.”  Enzo playfully splashed water on the bearded sprite as he swam around him. 

“Hey!” 

“Slowpoke.  I’m the boss in here!” 

“We’ll see.”   

There was a splash behind him.  Enzo kicked for a nano, then turned and began to wade in place.  “Matrix?  Matrix?”  The boy scanned the shore for a nano, then squealed as something grabbed his foot.  In a flash, he was under.  Matrix released his foot, but now the hands were on his shoulders holding him down, and he could see his brother’s grinning face just above the surface.  He struggled and kicked, but the grip on his shoulders was strong as a viral claw.   

Just as his lungs began to feel uncomfortably empty the pressure on his shoulders was gone, and his head broke the surface.  The boy gulped mouthfuls of air as fast as he could.  “You son of a null!” 

“Who’s the boss in here now – Kid?” 

“Spam!  You caught me by surprise, that’s all.”  Those huge hands were pushing down again.  “No – wait!  You’re the boss!” 

Matrix laughed and splashed his face.  “Don’t you forget who the big brother is, Enzo.  I’ve been swimming since before you were compiled.” 

Enzo spat data and scowled.  “Bully.” 

“You can take it.”  The two sprites treaded data, kicking in place, until finally Enzo cracked a smile.  “See?” 

“You’re still a son of a null.  But at least you remembered how to have fun.” 

“Never forgot.”  Matrix grinned, then kicked off into a graceful freestyle.  Enzo followed suit, and the two brothers enjoyed the data for a while.  Enzo felt as if he were in a dream somehow, all of his responsibilities and worries vanished and gone.  Washed away. 

As they swam, Enzo began to feel embarrassment creeping back into his processor.  Matrix didn’t find any awkwardness in their situation, or didn’t seem to anyway – and why would he?  He’d already been Enzo, after all.  But when Enzo allowed himself to think of it he felt himself blush at the thought of his nakedness in a grown man’s presence – even if that man was just an older him. 

And when that thought crept into his processor it brought an overwhelming curiosity with it, stronger even than his embarrassment.  Matrix was him – him in twelve or so hours maybe, but still him.  And that was a fascinating notion, to say the least.  Feeling the blush on his face burn more fiercely than ever, the boy submerged and kicked, feeling himself cut through the data.  He closed his eyes and concentrated on the sensation of flight, trying to distract himself from other thoughts. 

There was a vibration to his left, and Enzo knew he was passing close to his brother.  Unbidden his eyes opened and he allowed himself a glance, just for a nano.  But it was enough – he inadvertently swallowed and came up, sputtering. 

“You OK, Kid?” 

“Yeah!” Enzo coughed, turning away. “Sorry – just got some data in my mouth.  I’m fine.” 

“You sure?  Your face is all red.”  Matrix’ hand was on his back. 

“Yeah.”  The boy smiled over his shoulder.  “Thanks.” 

“NP.” 

“You about ready to get out?” 

“I guess.  It was pixelacious, though.” 

“Told ya.”  With a grin, Enzo kicked over to the boulders and pulled himself up.  “I got a towel in my pack – did you bring one?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Cool.”  His pack was all the way on the other side of the pond – it seemed like a mile!  Still blushing, the boy wrapped his T-shirt around his waist and was dismayed to find that it didn’t meet in the back.  Holding it in place with both hands he scampered towards his pack, the sounds of soft laughter in his ears.  “What’s so spamming funny?” 

“You.”  Enzo found his towel, dropped his shirt and tied the towel around his waist as Matrix clomped towards him.  He felt the strong hands that had held him under the data tousle his drenched hair gently.  “You’re a good kid, Enzo.” 

“Whatever.”  Not looking backwards, the younger brother padded towards a sunny patch of grass and lay back, hands behind his head.  After a few nanos a towel-clad Matrix flopped down next to him.  “That sun feels a lot better now than it did before we went in the data.” 

“Yeah.” Matrix chuckled.  “Nice and warm.” 

“What’s so spamming funny?” 

“I told ya – you are.  You always could make me laugh, Kiddo.  And that’s not easy.” 

Enzo sighed and helplessly knew he was blushing.  “You’ve told me that before.” 

“I know.” 

The brothers reclined, eyes closed, for several millis, enjoying the soft, fragrant grass under them and the warmth of the setting sun as it dried the data from their skin.  Enzo heard chuckling again and opened his eyes warily.  “What now?” 

Matrix winked.  “Gonna have to start calling you 'Fuzzy'.” 

“What?!” 

“Nothing – Fuzzy.” 

“Spam!” the younger Matrix gasped.  “That’s not funny, Enzo!” 

“It is from here, Kiddo.” 

“Matrix – stop!”  Enzo punched his brother’s shoulder, hard, but it felt as though he was impacting an unyielding wall.  “That’s not funny, Spammit!”  Matrix only stared back at him, choking on his laughter.  “I liked you better when you never smiled, you ASCII.  Shit…”  He folded his arms and rolled away from his brother, staring hard at the glimmering pool and cursing himself for being so easily baited. 

“All right, all right…”  He felt a hand clap him on the shoulder.  “I’m done.” 

“Shut up.” 

“Chill, Little Bro – I’m just giving you a hard boot, that’s all.  I’m done.” 

Enzo stared ahead for a few nanos, willing his voice to come out strong and assured.  “You promise?” 

“Yeah.  Well, for now anyway.  Peace?” 

The boy sighed and rolled onto his back.  “Yeah, whatever.”  He almost told his brother right then and there about his hazing experience at the Academy – and why he hated this particular brand of mockery so much.  Almost – but not quite.  Some things he would never repeat, to anybody.  That would mean reliving them, and he did that often enough as it was. 

“Good man.  You about ready to get going?” 

“I guess – I’m pretty much dry, except for my hair and that’ll take a while.” 

“We’ll walk a few more micros, then according to the map there should be a primitive campsite where we can set up the tent and have some dinner.” 

“You really worked this all out, huh?” 

“You been in enough games you learn the importance of planning and preparation. Don’t they teach you anything at that Academy?” 

“Hey – what’d I do?  It’s not like I was just gonna sleep under a rock!” 

“Little monkey.”  Matrix ruffled his hair and stood.  “Good call on the swim – that really hit the spot.” 

“Thanks, Matrix.” Enzo smiled.  Realizing the futility of further modesty at this stage, he dropped his towel next to his pack with a sigh and walked across to the boulder to retrieve his clothes.

* * *

Once his initial disgust at doing something so utterly pointless and juvenile had worn off, Matrix had to admit that swimming in that little pond had felt, well… good.  The data had been cool and refreshing, but beyond that he felt as if it had washed more than his sweat away.  He’d been surprised at Enzo’s willingness to bare himself like that – if not at his impetuousness – but in hindsight, it seemed like an act of trust on the part of the little sprite.  And that made Matrix feel good, too. 

There was something else, too, that he didn’t realize until after they were towel-dried, dressed and hiking down the trail in the deepening dusk.  It made him feel good to see Enzo act silly, for all Matrix’ instinctive exasperation at first.  The boy was definitely a different sprite now than before he’d left home – quieter, more reflective.  He was growing up, of course – living on his own, responsible for his own studies, spam – he even had a girlfriend.  But Matrix knew what his brother had been through, and without realizing it he’d been saddened by the notion that the boy was growing up too much and too fast for his age. 

As dusk grew into twilight they emerged from the trees into a broad clearing, tucked under a hillside, which loomed dark in front of them.  Data trickled from the rock face into a cistern and small fire rings were scattered throughout the meadow.  Enzo pulled up and glanced over his shoulder.  “Is this it?” 

“Yup.” Matrix nodded.  “Look - that’s the spring over there, drinkable data.  Lots of good flat ground for the tent, too.” 

“Good.”  Enzo dropped his pack and sat atop it wearily.  “I’m low-res.” 

“Tired already, Little Man?” 

“End file!  That was a long cycle and you know it.” 

Matrix chuckled and good-naturedly punched the boy’s shoulder.  “Yeah – that a good cycle’s work.  We covered a lot of ground.” 

“Nice spot.” Enzo smiled.  “You wanna set up the tent while I make the fire?” 

“You know how?” 

“Of course I know how!  I’m about to be a second-hour Guardian cadet!” 

“Hey – don’t bite my drive head off, just asking.”  The elder Matrix fetched the tent out of his pack and set off to find a flat area to pitch it.  “If you need any help, just ask.” 

“You too.” The younger spat back.  Matrix found a good spot, close enough to the stream that it’s burbling would be their companion for the night.  As he set up the tent he surreptitiously watched Enzo out of the corner of his eye, but indeed the boy seemed to know what he was doing – Matrix nodded approvingly as he stacked small sticks into a pyramid and crumpled a few sheets of paper beneath it.  Once lit, the paper quickly ignited the kindling and the scent of wood smoke began to fill the air.  Enzo built a “log cabin” of larger branches atop the blaze, and it was soon crackling merrily as the teenager knelt on his haunches warming his hands. 

“Good job, Kiddo.” Matrix clapped the boy on the shoulder.   

“Thanks, Bro.  Get the tent all set up?” 

“NP.” 

“What d’you want for dinner?  I got stroganoff noodles, Thai noodles in peanut sauce, and spaghetti with marinara sauce.” 

“What – no pizza?” 

“Just pick one, smart-ASCII.” 

“Hmmm.  How about noodles?  Have any of those?” 

“Log off!” Enzo groaned.  “Spaghetti it is.” 

“Sounds great.”  Matrix stretched and sat on a log bench near the fire ring, relishing the ache of exertion in his muscles.  It felt good to be dead tired at the close of a cycle of hard work.  He watched Enzo as he prepared the dinner, boiling data in a small cookpot and expertly mixing in the dried noodles and sauce.  The boy was deft and sure as he worked, as confident and assured with the food as he had been with the fire.  “When did you get so grown up, anyway?” 

“What?”  Enzo looked up, his face lit by the glow of his fire, night having fully descended. 

“Nothing, nothing.  Food about ready?” 

Enzo brought the spoon to his lips and tasted delicately.  “Just about.  This prefab food isn’t very good…” 

“You’ve had it before?” 

The boy smiled sheepishly. “I made some at home, before we left.  Sort of a test run.” 

Matrix chuckled.  “I’m sure it’s fine – I’m hungry enough to eat your cooking and not complain.” 

“I’ll hold you to that.  Get some plates and forks, OK?” 

“You got it.”  The bearded sprite fetched two disposable plates and forks out of Enzo’s pack and the boy cheerfully dished out the pasta before setting the pot on a rock near the fire.  The boy waited expectantly and Matrix realized what he was waiting for.  He wrapped a mouthful of spaghetti around his fork and wolfed it down.  “Mmmf.  It’s good.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah – not bad at all.” 

“Cool!  I know the dried stuff kinda sucks, but it’s easier out here…”  The boy grinned and stared down at his plate for a nano, then starting shoveling the pasta into his mouth.  “Mmmf.” 

“Slow down, Pal!  It’s dead – it won’t run away.” 

“Hungry.” 

“Yeah, well – me too.”  Matrix smiled and ate his dinner, not savoring the taste so much as the act itself.  It felt good to do something so simple – work hard until you were ravenous, then fill up with food.  If only every-cycle life were that visual basic. 

The brothers ate mostly in silence, content to stare at the brilliantly star-pocked sky and enjoy the glow of their campfire.  When they were done Enzo gathered up the trash and bagged it, bringing another unseen nodding approval from his sibling.  No point in trashing such a pristine place – it was good the kid understood stuff like that.  “Don’t forget to wash the pot.” 

“Why can’t you do it?  I made dinner!” 

“He who dirties it, cleans it.” Matrix yawned, stretching and putting his hands behind his head.  “If you wait till morning you’ll never get the gunk off.” 

“Nullhead.” Enzo muttered, grabbing the pot and heading towards the spring. 

“Don’t go too far – stay where I can see you!” 

“You’re makin’ breakfast!” the boy called back. 

“We’ll see.”  The big sprite reached down and tossed a few more large sticks onto the fire, which spat and sparked as it flared anew.  After a milli or two Enzo reappeared, stashed the pot in his bag, ruffled through it and sat next to his brother on the log.   “Good job.” 

“Thanks.  Guess what else I brought?” 

“What?” 

“Marshmallows!”  The boy pulled his hand from behind his back.  “I always wanted to toast marshmallows and I never have.” 

Matrix reached for a pair of thin sticks.  “Cool.  I have, a couple of times – when we were out in the net, Andri and I.  Lots of nights over campfires back then.”  He reached into his back pocket for his knife. 

“Um…  Yeah.  What’re you doin’? 

“Scraping the bark off.  See?  Don’t get any on the marshmallow that way, and it tastes better too.  Wanna try?” 

“Sure.” 

“Here you go.” 

“That’s OK – I got the knife Bob gave me.”   

“Scrape away from your body.” 

“I know.” Enzo sighed. 

“Careful.”  Matrix smiled as the boy copied him, scraping the bark off the stick with slow, careful strokes.  “Good job.” 

“Hey – I’m a Guardian.”  Soon the sweet smell of roasting marshmallows joined the acrid smoke of their campfire and the piney tang of the trees around them.  Enzo brought his sweet to his lips, blew on it gently, and grinned.  “This is pretty alphanumeric, huh?” 

“High-density.  How’s it taste?” 

“Mmmf.  Good.  Wish I had some hot chocolate, though!” 

“If Dot were here, she’d have remembered some.” 

“Yeah!”  Enzo laughed.  There was a rustle in the undergrowth, to their left.  “What’s that?” 

“Shhh!”  Matrix squinted into the dark and saw a movement near the bushes, a stone’s throw from their campsite. 

“What-” 

“Shhh!”  Matrix knelt down, close to his brother’s ear.  “Mule deer.” He whispered.  “Mother and her fawn, looks like.  The wind’s from behind ‘em so they can’t smell the smoke.  Or us.” 

“Pixelacious!” Enzo gasped. 

“They like to forage at dusk.  I‘ve seen a lot of them in rural systems like this one.” 

“She’s big!” Enzo whispered.  “They’re not aggressive, are they?” 

“No.  It’s the guys you have to worry about – they’ve got antlers, sometimes huge ones.  And during rutting season they’ll charge anything that moves.” 

“Rutting season?  What’s that?” 

“Well…  That’s when they’re…  In the mood, you could say.” 

“Dude!” Enzo giggled.  The doe looked up and started, then bolted off into the woods, her fawn close behind her.  “Spammit – sorry!” 

“NP.  They don’t see very well, but their smell and hearing is awesome.”  The bearded sprite exhaled deeply.  “Well – that was pixelacious, huh?” 

“Yeah.”  Enzo was still a bit wide-eyed.  “That’s the biggest animal I ever saw.  Sorry I laughed and scared it off.” 

“Yeah, too bad.  We could have eaten well for the rest of the trip.” 

“What?  No way!” 

“Yup, no more dried noodles, just sweet, fresh venison-” 

“Dude – no!  You were gonna kill it?  It had a baby!” 

“Simmer down, Kid.” Matrix chuckled.  “I’m just messing with your processor.” 

“Spam…”  Enzo scowled.  “Matrix, why do you do this shit to me?” 

“Because it’s fun.  And you’re always trying to get me to have fun, right?  Besides – you’re easy.” 

“Byte me.” 

“Language!  I’ll tell Dot.”  Enzo petulantly tossed another stick onto the fire, but Matrix could see the smile he was fighting down.   “Little null.” 

“Shut up.”  The boy grinned and settled back, resting his own meager weight against his brother’s bulk.  “D’you suppose all big brothers are as mean as you?” 

“I’m much nicer than I should be.  If I wasn’t, you’d be deleted ten times over.” 

“Hysterical.”  Matrix wrapped Enzo in a headlock and the boy wriggled free, laughing, before reclining again against his brother.   

“You cold?” Matrix asked. 

“Nope – fine.” The teenager sighed.  He craned his neck back to look up at the stars and was silent for several nanos.  “This is amazing, Matrix.” 

“Yeah – it’s nice here.  I’m not complaining.” 

“For a change.” Enzo giggled.  “It is an amazing place – Mouse was right.  But I mean it’s amazing being here.  I love it.  It feels like we’re the only two sprites in the universe.”  The boy turned to Matrix.  “I feel like that sometimes when we’re together, even when we’re at home surrounded by everybody.  But here I really feel it.  You know what I mean?” 

Matrix saw the fire glinting its reflection in his brother’s eyes, and for the first time truly sensed the importance he held in the boy’s life.  He was the pioneer, the standard, the bar that was raised – Enzo would always judge his own life from his brother’s shadow.  It was a sobering thought.  “I guess not, huh.” 

“It’s not that - I was just thinking.  Yeah, I know – I get what you’re talking about.  It’s a little weird sometimes, so I don’t think about it that much.  But…  It’s good, too.  We’re lucky to have that.” 

“You mean that?” Enzo whispered. 

“Yeah.  It’s hard sometimes, too – something else we have to worry about that other sprites don’t.  But I wouldn’t trade, even it if I could.  We’re lucky.” 

“Yeah – me neither.  I’m glad we have it.”  Matrix found the conversation leading him into areas he’d rather not venture, and began to feel distinctly uncomfortable.  No one could do that to him like Enzo could.  “What’s wrong?” 

“Huh?” 

Enzo smiled weakly.  “You got all tensed up.” 

“Nothing.”  Matrix smiled weakly in return and tweaked the boy’s nose.  “Tell me about the Academy, Kid.” 

“Huh?  Why?  I have!” 

“Yeah, yeah.  But what was it really like?  We never really talked about that.” 

Enzo scratched his head and fidgeted absently.  “I dunno.  I mean – there were good things and bad things.  I loved making friends and having a roommate, and learning all the games stuff.  And taking care of myself.  It’s what I always wanted.  But I still missed home…  You know.” 

“Sure.” 

“It was better when Bob and Dot came for his class.  And by the end, I was dealing with it OK.  But it never got easy to not be home – you know?  I missed everybody every single cycle.” 

“Sorry you went?” 

The boy sighed deeply.  “No.  Sometimes.  But not now that it’s all over and I’m ready to go back soon.”  He smiled up at his brother.  “It was easier when I came home and found out that everyone, you know… still liked me.  They didn’t change or forget or anything.” 

“You didn’t really think that would happen, did you?” 

“When you went off in the games…  After you were gone for a while, didn’t you worry that it would all be different when you got back?” 

Looking into Enzo’s eyes Matrix, in an uncomfortable flash, remembered all at once what it felt like to be thirteen.  “Yeah.”  He shuddered slightly.  “But the way things were when I left…  I wasn’t even sure there’d be a Mainframe when I got back.  And I thought everyone would hate me because I let them down.” 

“Man…  I can’t believe I feel sorry for myself when things were so much harder for you!  I’m basic…” 

“Stop it!” Matrix sighed.  “I’m just saying – I know what you mean.  That’s all.” 

“K.  Sorry.” 

“And how are your grades?  Good, I hope?” 

“Pretty good.” Enzo shrugged. 

“Pretty good - what’s that mean?  You know, if you slip up I’ll be all over you like spam on a Hotmail account.” 

“Take it easy – Dad!”  The boy scowled, then smiled slightly.  “I’m doing OK – I got a couple of Cs the first quarter, but I did better once I got settled in.  I got As in all my game classes and mostly Bs in my classroom stuff.  If it wasn’t so boring I could do even better…” 

“Well – that sounds OK.” Matrix nodded.  “What about the stuff we talked about – when you called me.  Did that get any better?” 

Enzo blushed immediately and looked away.  “Well?” 

“You never told anyone about that, did you?” the teenager asked in a small voice. 

“I promised I wouldn’t and I didn’t.  I just want to know.” 

“Thanks.”  Enzo fidgeted again, which Matrix was learning was a surefire sign he was in uncomfortable territory.  “Well, I…  You know about the game.  And all that.” 

“Yeah – it sounds pretty awful.” 

“Yeah.  So after that those guys were expelled.  So they couldn’t bother me anymore.” 

“And everything was all right?  No more problems with you being the smallest?” 

The boy emitted a short laugh.  “Well – I still was.  Nothing like that though, I guess.  No one else was that psycho, and I think some sprites looked at me a little different after that game.  Everyone pretty much knew what happened.”  He looked up.  “I never forgot, though.  Everyone was still bigger and older than me.  I tried to forget about it but I never really could.  That was probably the hardest thing about being there.” 

“Yeah – I bet.”  The pain in Enzo’s face sparked a flare of anger in Matrix, anger at his sister for letting Enzo leave home so young after…  after everything.   

“I guess I still will be the youngest when I go back.” 

“Why don’t you stay, then?” 

“What?” Enzo frowned, puzzled. 

“Why not stay in Mainframe?  You proved your point – you went to the Academy and you survived the first hour even though you were only thirteen.  You don’t have to prove anything to anybody.  To me.”  Matrix stared hard at his brother.  “Maybe it’s time for you to stay home and grow up a little.” 

“No!  I don’t wanna do that – I’m not a quitter.” 

“I never said you were, Kid.” 

“Matrix, I…  I can’t.  I knew it would be hard, but I really want to do it.  I wanna be a Guardian more now than I ever did before.  Laser, all those guys – they’re giving their whole lives to try and save the Collective.  I never wanted to do anything else, and I still don’t.  Don’t you understand?” 

He saw the intensity of purpose in his brother’s eyes.  He knew the boy would never be as sure of anything in his life when he was older – not like he was now.  Life changed you.  Was it his place to help bring those changes, when they’d happen soon enough anyway?  “Matrix – you understand, right?” 

“Yeah.” The big sprite sighed.  “I understand, Enzo.  You have to go back and finish what you started.”   

“Yeah.” Enzo smiled.  Matrix felt the small body relax against him.  “You understand.” 

“Besides – you can’t just leave your girlfriend, right?” 

“Oh man – don’t you start with that!  I get a never ending supply of it from Dot!” 

“She freaked out when you told her, huh?” 

“I never even had to.” Enzo groaned.  “She saw it in my face, or something…  She guessed.  She’s always doing that to me.  Talk about being freaked out!” 

“Yeah – that’s Dot all right.  I could never keep any secrets from her.” 

“Yeah.”  The teenager nodded.  “But she doesn’t know everything.” 

Matrix stared at his brother for a nano.  “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Nothing.” The boy blushed.  “I’m just… not a little kid anymore, OK?  There’s some stuff I don’t talk about with Dot.  And she still thinks I am a little kid, so she doesn’t get inside my brain and find out herself.” 

“What kind of stuff, Enzo?” 

“Stuff.” 

“Huh.”  Matrix stared again, but it was clear no more information was forthcoming on its own.  He was uncomfortable again – there were things better never discussed, and Enzo was always dancing on the edge of his boundaries.  But better to be discussing Enzo than have the boy ask him questions he didn’t want to answer.  “So – what’s she like, anyway?” 

Enzo looked up in surprise.  “What?” 

“What’s she like – your girlfriend?” 

“You’re just gonna make fun of me again-” 

“No!” the big sprite laughed.  “I’m just curious, that’s all – what kind of girl could turn your head that fast?” 

Enzo stared suspiciously at him for a moment, then his expression softened.  “She’s pixelacious, Matrix.  I’ve never known anyone like her in my life.” 

“You really like her, huh?” 

“I love her.” The boy replied, matter-of-factly. 

“You love her?” 

“Totally.  She’s incredible.”  A smile.  “And she loves me, too.  She told me.” 

Matrix found himself a little taken aback.  He’d half-expected Enzo to have forgotten this girl already – but his brother’s tone wasn’t reflective of the schoolboy crush he’d anticipated.  “Really?” 

“Yeah.  Lots of times.  And I tell her, too.”  Enzo shrugged.  “Lisa’s amazing.  She has teal skin and gold hair and I knew the first nano I saw her that I loved her.  She smiled at me, right away – I was so nervous you wouldn’t believe it!  I could barely walk or talk.”  The teenager blushed at the memory.  “But she never made me feel dumb or clumsy – she was totally nice to me, right from the beginning.  She wasn’t like anybody else at the Academy.  I love her.” 

“Wow.”   

“I did some really stupid stuff, too.  Just… dumb.  And I made a mistake and I was sure it’d make her hate me…  But she didn’t!  She forgave me, just like that.  And we survived that game, and Zip and Calisto…  And when it was over we loved each other even more than before.  She’s amazing.” 

“Sounds like it.”  Matrix smiled.  He started to make a cautionary statement about how young Enzo was, but realized before he even said it the futility of the notion – the kid wouldn’t want to hear it.  He was sure of himself as only a kid could be – and who was Matrix to tell him he was wrong?  He’d loved AndrAIa when they were kids, too.  “Hang onto her, Pal.  She sounds pretty special.” 

Enzo grinned up at him.  “I will, don’t worry.  I’ll never let her go.”  The boy stared into the fire and went silent for a few millis, leaving Matrix to his thoughts.  Finally the older brother felt his sibling tense against him, and saw a blush on his cheeks. “Enzo, can I…  Can I ask you something?” 

Uh oh!  Here it comes.  Spam…What now?   “Uh…  Kid-” 

“Please?” 

Matrix sighed.  “Sure, Enzo.  What is it?” 

The boy stared into the fire again, squirming nervously.  “I…  I just wanted to know…” 

“What?  What is it?” 

Enzo squeezed his eyes shut.  “Spammit!  Never mind…” 

“Enzo!  Just spit it out.”  Get it over with.  “What is it?” 

The teenager didn’t open his eyes.  “Well…  How old…  How old were you and AndrAIa when… when…” 

“Crash.  Enzo-” 

“How old were you when you first… did it.  You know.  Swapped codes.” 

Matrix’s jaw dropped.  “That’s none of your business, Sprout.” 

Enzo winced.  “I’m sorry, I just…  I was curious.  ‘Cause-” 

“Older than you.  Okay?  That isn’t something we should be talking about.  It isn’t something you should even be thinking about.”  He stood, walked over to his pack and began to unstrap his docking bag, trying hard to bite down the familiar bile of irritation in his throat.  “It’s late – we should go to bed.  Go brush your teeth by the spring and if you have to pee, do it as far away from the stream as possible.” 

“OK.” Enzo’s forlorn voice came back. 

* * *

Enzo wondered where things had gone wrong.  Things had seemed to be going so well, but the boy knew from hard experience that with Matrix, that could turn at the drop of a bit.  He’d felt so close to his brother there, for a nano – like there was nothing they couldn’t talk about.  He’d wanted more than anything to talk to someone about the things he could never talk about with anyone – but, as usual, he hadn’t known when to shut up and the evening had gone straight to Dell, just like that. 

By the time he’d brushed his teeth and emptied his bladder Matrix was already inside the tent, the flicker of a lantern visible through the translucent fabric.  Enzo carefully kicked dirt over the fire until nary a spark was visible.  He grabbed a readme out of his pack and unzipped the mesh doorway.  Matrix was lying silently in his bag, hands behind his head.  Enzo ducked inside and reached for the zipper.  “Bring your pack inside.” 

“Huh?  Why?” 

“You got food in there, right?  There may not be any large predators here, but I guarantee you something will get at it if you leave it outside.” 

“Sorry.” The boy mumbled.  He retrieved his pack and tossed it inside ahead of him, setting it at the foot of his docking pad.  Eyeing Matrix warily he crawled inside, zipped up, and took off his sweatshirt to use as a pillow.  Matrix continued to stare upwards, silently.  

Not feeling like reading, Enzo tried closing his eyes but it was obvious sleep wasn’t coming anytime soon, and his brother gave no indication of deleting the lantern.  Finally the boy rolled onto his side and stared at the big sprite.  “Are you mad at me because of what I asked?” 

Matrix was silent for a few nanos, then sighed.  “No.  I’m not mad.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah.  Don’t get offline about it.”  The big sprite rolled to face him.  “Enzo, I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to be honest.” 

“What?” Enzo gulped, feeling his stomach doing a turn.   

“Have you swapped codes with Lisa?  Is that why you asked?” 

He gasped, utterly taken aback by the question.  “What?  No!  Are you kidding?”  I wish… 

“You swear?” 

“Of course!  That’s stupid!” 

Matrix breathed deeply.  “Thank the User.  I was not looking forward to that conversation with Dot.” 

“Wait - you’d tell on me?” 

“I thought there was nothing to tell.” 

“There isn’t!” 

Matrix smiled grimly.  “I don’t know if I would have told her – but I’m happy not to have to deal with that either.  You had me pretty worried.” 

“Yeah well…  Sorry.”  Enzo scowled.  He rolled onto his stomach and rested his chin on his arms.  “I’m sorry I asked you that, Matrix.  It’s just…  I have questions, you know?  There’s no much stuff I want to know and there’s no one to talk about it with!  No one wants to know I’m even thinking about this stuff…” 

“I thought Bob had a talk with you before you went to the Academy.” 

“He did.” The youth sighed.  “And he did tell me some stuff.  And he did his best but you know Bob…  And I didn’t know Lisa then and I…  I didn’t really know the right questions to ask.”  He buried his face in his hands, torn between the urge to share his feelings and an overwhelming embarrassment to even be talking about this sort of thing.  “Sorry.” 

Matrix sighed deeply.  “Fifteen.” 

Enzo looked up.  “What?” 

Matrix was lying back, arm over his forehead.  The teenager was glad his brother wasn’t looking in his direction – that would have made the awkwardness unbearable.  “Fifteen.  Almost sixteen.  And I don’t know how old AndrAIa was – she never really knew how old she was.  We think she’s about my age, chronologically – but no one knows exactly.” 

“F-Fifteen?” 

“Yeah.  And it could have been a disaster, Enzo – we had no clue about any of the risks in what we were doing.  We just knew we loved each other and we…  Well…  We wanted to.  And we were lonely.  I was lonely.” 

Enzo was fascinated, almost as much as he was shocked to even be hearing what he was.  He felt numb, all over, but couldn’t turn away.  “What happened?” 

“What do you mean?” Matrix laughed darkly.  “It happened.  We were alone together almost all the time, and one thing led to another.  And another.  And finally… we were together.  Thank the User we met a good-hearted sprite, a SysOp, in one of the systems we game-hopped…  He felt sorry for us, I think.  Told us why what we doing was dangerous, and what we needed to do to be careful.  And that’s what happened.” 

“Wow.”  The boy whispered.  There was silence in the tent for several nanos.  “Is…  Is that the right age, do you think?” 

“What?” 

“You know…  To- ” 

“Oh, Enzo – I don’t have a deleted clue!  I just know we weren’t ready for it.  We were just two kids running around the net trying to stay alive.  Why would you want to ask me?” 

“Who else can I ask?”  And Enzo knew as he asked it that it was true – if he couldn’t talk to Matrix about his deepest feelings, he couldn’t talk to anyone, and that was a terrible thought.  “I’m sorry – I just think about this.  A lot.” 

“You do?” 

“Yeah!  I mean – I just love Lisa so much, you know?  And I love being with her more than anything and, you know…  Kissing her and all that.  But when I’m with her I just…  I can’t describe it!  She’s so beautiful...” 

“Kid-” 

“And when I’m not with her…  I don’t know which is worse.  When I’m not with her I want to be with her, and when I’m with her it drives me offline!  Why do I feel like this, Matrix?”

Enzo knew his brother was looking at him, now, but he couldn’t bring himself to return the favor.  “It’s nothing wrong, Enzo.  It’s just…  You’re a guy, and you’re a teenager, and you’re in love.  It’s not easy sometimes.” 

“It’s spamming impossible.” The boy spat.  It was inconceivable to be admitting this to anyone, even Matrix, but it was as through a flood had started and he was powerless to stop it.  “I want to be with her so much… but I know everyone thinks we’re too young.”  He looked up, finally, in spite of himself.  “Are we?” 

“Yeah.” Matrix nodded, not unsympathetically.  “You definitely are.” 

“Shit!”  Enzo buried his face in his arms again.  “It’s not fair.  How come I’m…  Spammit, why is it that I’m old enough to want it so much, but I’m still too young to do it?  It’s not fair.” 

“No – I guess it isn’t.”  There was a big hand on his shoulder, softly.  “But life isn’t fair a lot of the time.  Most of the time, in my experience.  Maybe it’s better you learn that young.” 

“I think it sucks.” 

“Sorry, Pal.  You really are growing up, aren’t you?  It’s like it happened in a cycle and I didn’t even notice.” 

Enzo lifted his head and saw his brother staring at him, a sad smile on his face.  “When will I be old enough, Enzo?” 

“You’ll know.” 

“Spam!  What kind of answer is that?” 

“The only one I know.” Matrix shrugged.  “There’s more to it than just swapping codes, Enzo.  When you do that, everything else changes.  There’s a lot of stuff you just wouldn’t be ready to deal with for a while.  You and Lisa would end up regretting it – it’d probably break you up.” 

“Really?” the boy whispered.  “I’m almost fourteen…  And she’ll be sixteen in the middle of the school hour.” 

“Too young, Kid.” His brother smiled.  “If you guys really love each other you can wait until you’re both ready.  The emotional stuff gets pretty intense – if you’re not ready to commit yourself to each other it’s cruel to do anything.  She’ll be there when you’re ready.”

“I don’t really understand.” Enzo sighed, and knew in his heart that he didn’t.  “I guess I really am too young.”  Matrix clapped his shoulder.  “I just wish I was too young to care about it.  It’d be a lot easier.” 

“Yeah – I guess it would.  But once you’re old enough, you can’t go back.  Sorry.” 

“Spammit.”  Enzo half-smiled.    

Matrix coughed and started to blush.  “Uh – you do know that there are, well…  There are other things you can-  I mean – Bob did talk with you about that sort of thing?” 

“Yeah.  Shut up, OK?  I don’t wanna talk about that.” 

“K.”  Matrix nodded, chuckled awkwardly.  “Just checking.” 

Enzo rolled onto his back and stared wistfully at the roof of the tent, hands behind his head.  “What’s it feel like, Matrix?  Swapping codes?” 

“Crash, Enzo – come on!” 

“I just wanna know, OK?  What’s it like?”  He knew he was blushing as furiously as Matrix now but once again, his curiosity out muscled his embarrassment.  “Please tell me!” 

His brother scowled, fell back to the floor of the tent with a thud.  “I don’t…  Spam!”  He propped himself on his elbow.  “Who’s your favorite band, Enzo?” 

“What?!” 

“A band.  Who do you like to listen to?” 

“What’s that have to do with- ” 

“Just answer me.” 

Enzo shook his head and scowled, utterly flummoxed.  “I dunno…  I like Squeeze, The Pillows - Linux played them for me…  And The Beatles are incredible.” 

Matrix smiled.  “What’s it like to listen to your favorite Beatles’ song?” 

“What?” 

“You heard me.” 

The boy stared skyward, trying to think of “Here Comes the Sun” or “In My Life.”  “I don’t know.  It’s great – I just love the sound, the way it makes me feel…  You know?” 

“How does it make you feel?” 

Enzo felt his irritation rising.  “I don’t know!  Good, OK?  I like it.  That’s all I can tell you!” 

“Well…” Matrix smiled.  “That’s all I can tell you.  Imagine the most amazing feeling you could ever dream of – in your body, in your heart, in your processor.  It’s like every part of you is filled up with the feeling until it’s like you’re going to explode.  I can’t describe it any more than that – it is what it is.  Some things just can’t be put into words.  You’ll understand soon enough.” 

“Better than The Beatles?” 

Matrix chuckled.  “Better than the Beatles.  Not even close.” 

Enzo sighed.  “Is it better than- Better than…  You know.” 

“Better than what?” 

The boy groaned.  “You know!  Better than that.”  Curiosity be damned, there was only so much embarrassment he could take. 

“What?” 

“Spammit – you know what, Nullhead!  Please don’t make me say it!” 

Matrix chuckled again, and Enzo had the sinking sensation his brother had gotten the reaction he was waiting for.  There were times he wished Matrix had more of a sense of humor, but sometimes he wished he had none at all.  “Yes, Enzo.  It’s way better than that – no contest.” 

“Spam.  I don’t want to wait!  Life sucks.” 

“Yeah, well – you asked.  And while you’re feeling sorry for yourself, try thinking about what it’s like to have to work for a living and support a family, instead of them supporting you while you learn and play games.” 

“Yeah, I know.  I know.” Enzo sighed.  Adults always talked about how great it was to be a kid, but he had a sneaking suspicion most of them wouldn’t want to be in his sneakers, given the chance.  “Enzo, can I ask you one more question?” 

“What is it?” his brother asked warily. 

“When you…  When you swap codes with a girl.  Does it hurt?  The girl, I mean?” 

“What?” 

The boy finally turned to his brother.  “It just seems like… like it’d hurt.  I wouldn’t want to hurt Lisa, you know?” 

Matrix smiled.  “Enzo… If it did, girls wouldn’t want to do it, would they?” 

“I guess not.” 

“The first time a girl does it, it hurts her a little.  But just the first time – after that, as long as the guy is gentle, it’s just as great for her as it is for him.  Don’t worry.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah.  And you know what?  That’s the best part – why it’s so much better than anything else.  When you know you’re making her feel as pixelacious as she’s making you feel, that makes it more incredible than you can imagine.  It’s the best.” 

“That’s awesome.”  Enzo grinned.  “Thanks.” 

“You’re welcome.”  Matrix reached out and tousled his hair.  “Now I’m about ready to shut down.  Lights out, Kid.” 

“K.”  Enzo lay back as Matrix doused the lantern and the interior of the tent was plunged into darkness.  “Matrix?” 

“What?” 

“Can I ask you something else?” 

His brother moaned.  “You said that was your last question!” 

“I lied – but this is the last one, I promise.” 

“All right.  What is it?” 

Enzo was glad it was dark, and he couldn’t see his code twin’s face.  “The first time – is it really scary?” 

Matrix was silent for a long moment.  “Yes.”  Was he trying to think of a way not to say that? 

Enzo’s heart jumped a little, just thinking about it. “Were you more scared than the first time you were in a game by yourself?” 

“Yes.  I can’t lie to you – I was terrified, and you probably will be too.  It’s not easy, that first time – but just remember, she’s just as scared as you are and you’re going through it together.  That’s why it’s so important to be with someone who cares about you, understand?” 

“Yeah.  I think so.” Enzo whispered, and he sort of thought he did.  “Thanks for talking about all this stuff with me, Big Brother.  I…  Thanks.” 

“You’re welcome.  Now go to sleep, all right?” 

“OK.  Night.” 

“Night.” 

Enzo lay in the dark, listening to his brother’s slow, deep, even breathing.  The data stream was burbling close to their tent, and the noise of crickets and frogs could be heard faintly in the night.  All in all it was more than a little soothing, and the boy soon found himself drifting towards sleep.  It was the first time he and his brother had ever slept in the same room, he realized – well, tent anyway.  That was odd, since they were twins and all.  And they were twins – he knew he was more like Matrix than he’d ever admit to himself – and so his brother was more like him.  It was a strange thought – comforting and scary at the same time. 

The boy felt a stab of guilt.  “Matrix?” 

“Sleep.”  The voice was gruff and a little annoyed. 

“I peeked at you.  While we were swimming.” 

“I know.”  Now it was tinged with amusement. 

“You do?” 

“Of course, Kid - I’m not blind.  Besides, that data was clear as glass.  A little sneak preview, huh?” 

“Oh.” Enzo whispered, glad now that Matrix couldn’t see his face.  “Well – sorry.  I know it was stupid-” 

“Don’t worry about it.” His brother yawned.  “I would have done the same thing, I’m sure.  It’s no big file.” 

“Really?  You’re not mad?” 

“Not about that.  But if you don’t let me go to sleep-”

The boy smiled.  “OK, OK!  Sorry.&nbs